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Dear Pitch Darkness at 5p.m. - I HATE you. Go away.
The thing about Amy Winehouse dying is that the only thing I ever knew about her was that she was on the verge of killing herself.
Now Twitter is getting threatening "You will automatically be upgraded" We are Borg, prepare to be assimilated. #newtwitter
Okay, okay - bacon swastika. I get it. Does everyone have to retweet it? #notinthemood #yomkippur #crankyandgettingcrankier