@nealbrennan Gosling paid for my food at Outback and thanked me for serving in Iraq. I'm not in the military. #ryangoslingisanangel

@chrisbrown Helping the world one black eyed woman at a time

@joshgroban eff you groban for being so talented!!! I'm talented too just not as much as you #FridayNightDrunkTweet

@kimkardashian seriously, the amount of RTs you get is absolute bullshit

@diarrhea pic.twitter.com/7r3bd5icsG

@captnthundrcunt pic.twitter.com/ABN8fx6u

@captnthundrcunt pic.twitter.com/uWaWug8P

@ilikegirlsdaily pic.twitter.com/DITVAZ8c

#PositiveYoMommaJokes Yo momma so poor, because she donates a large percentage of her income to various charities

People are puzzled that I'm from VA and rooting for Mich. Mother fucker I bleed Blue and Orange! #WaHooWa

@iamcolinquinn The least funniest Weekend Update host is telling us what's wrong with America. Go live somewhere else, asshat.

@mrgeorgewallace Shout out to toothbrushes, making my mouth feel fresh and what not.

@notebonyalbert you look like Bill Cosby

@jaymohr37 isn't it Stay or Leave?

Hey @fearsomekittens, I found @huntermoore's car today!! http://t.co/VmL76W3j

@breeolson @sportfan71 False. Guys like to have sex with girls. Some are delusional enough 2 think that they'll get some if they buy stuff.

@ellyka39 http://t.co/Edg5bsU8

Making MLK proud, one tweet at a time.


“@fly_ass_bastard: I fucking hate you. Go back to 8mile white boy @steveblake5”

#PositiveYoMommaJokes Yo momma sweats so much because she has glandular issues but she doesn't let it affect her overall happiness

#Wahoowa #UVA #TOUCHDOWN