Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 265
Followers: 1,263
Favs Given: 6,828
Favs Rec'd: N/A
@justinjewell's (Justin Jewell) recent favourites. See who @justinjewell favs the most...
lonelysandwich
Working as a model on mattress packaging requires mastering one of two looks: "About to Bone" and the slightly more subtle "Just Boned".
@lonelysandwich
davio1962
Who knew there wouldn't be a "performing sushi" act at my local aquarium's Aquashow?

I brought these chopsticks for nothing.
@davio1962
5
dropdeadchrispenblethnavanaxNikiWithIssuesjustinjewell
Monimus
I hate having sex missionary style. I always wind up wearing a suit and screaming at my girlfriend about the sanctity of marriage.
@Monimus
11
natters1210MODATjorshuwahBeccaPianoeugemrayzlejustinjewellFriedWordsdavio1962unanythingGuyMcMannerson
kellydeal
RIP CASEY KASEM
@kellydeal
4
justinjewellkolchakSmmythePunkrockie
Ja_La
Conversely, religious people hurt certain people, and Atheists believe no one is above an ass whoopin'.
@Ja_La
5
justinjewellMODATUPTIGHTerTwitchingDoubtwood
Ja_La
Atheists help everyone, while religious people only help "certain people."
@Ja_La
8
justinjewellMODATUPTIGHTerTwitchingDoubtdatnguyendavio1962blondediva11wood
nikiverse
Things I should keep to myself but I really want to say: "You threw away my Downey Ball, didnt you?" Throw in a "Dont lie" for good measure.
@nikiverse
1
justinjewell
jorshuwah
My gf taught me this new position called "missionary". It's really good. I think were going to do it a lot now.
@jorshuwah
paul_e_wog
"I remember my last handjob, it was from me."
@paul_e_wog
9
giromidemarleymarleySlappNuttztwilarityworldwarmikejustinjewellblondediva11GoferDaddavio1962
navanax
"I pity the Flu" - Mr. T Cell
@navanax
GPappalardo
Seriously, who would remember 1986 better than John Cusack.
@GPappalardo
8
natters1210AndyJukestwilarityjustinjewellRyan_DuncanCroweJamtwistedpfisterHella
Alter_ed
Remember when I used to care if you starred my tweets. Yeah. That was awesome.
@Alter_ed
theduty
the best way to find the Mall Cop with a stick up his ass is to rollerblade thru this Gymboree juggling 9" flaming dildos.

APPARENTLY.
@theduty
lafix
Before telling someone "fuck you" in anger, make sure that wasn't their plan all along.
@lafix
ruthakers
People are so rude
Just cuz my baby comes in a bottle labeled SKYY doesn't mean we can't go to playgroup
Oh it does officer?
Yes

I'll leave
@ruthakers
15
blueyesbrunetSnarkToastBlue_CrabTymethiefSkittle_Brainsbumpcruddrake_pfactualfictionjustinjewellTeleholicGirlKungHeiFatChoirockhardjockIamPinkymotheroffoolscritterzoo
thedayhascome
It's amazing how many children will chase you when you drive around the neighborhood playing ice cream truck music.
@thedayhascome
Morros
Living my asymmetrical life one lopsided day at a time.
@Morros
RexHuppke
77 percent of Twitter users have already set their location as "your mom."
@RexHuppke
trixieboots
This day hath spat in mine eyen.
@trixieboots
13
SpinchangegiromidelinajkdorsalstreamfactualfictionTinyJesussarkastickuntslugworthytalks_in_mathsjustinjewellKarenLyneButlerGrogulousTwitchingDoubt
davio1962
"PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!" typically is something I don't need to say to my wife when I'm taking a shower.
@davio1962
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