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"Boy, is my face read." – Yunel Escobar
"... I'm sorry, I'm not following at all; you are telling me some people did not get sick?" – The inventor of the Cronut burger
Designing the ultimate college poster: a big picture of Che Guevera which, when closely examined, is composed of thousands of Bob Marleys.
You can really tell a lot about someone from their 17,000 page manifesto.
I'm glad Natalie Portman and Jacques Cousteau never got married, because it would be hard to think of a portmanteau for their last names.
Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. In fact, don't bring anything to a gunfight. Don't go to the gunfight. It's a *gunfight*.
Anyone else think Avril Lavigne is just doing this to fight her reputation as someone who only marries musicians?
If Ford's approval slips below 0% does it come out the other side to 99%? Is that what he's doing? Do politics work like the Pac-Man screen?
I love the Smiths' music. Gettin' Jiggy Wit It, Men in Black, Whip My Hair, any of it. Helluva songwriter, that Morrissey.
Seeing your joke stolen on Twitter is like seeing your car stolen. If you made your car. But if it only took you 4 seconds to make your car.
Fucking infuriating reminder of how far we've all to go in improving a rape culture and world women are living in. http://gawker.com/teacher-gets-just-30-days-in-jail-for-raping-14-year-ol-1211602945 …
"Who gives a rat's ass!!?!" – Guy who just got a really bad present in Secret Santa
A common mistake people make when talking about the Bible is calling it "Frankincense" rather than "Frankincense's monster."
Comedian (Canadian Comedy Award-nominated @TheSketchersons/head writer @RulersComedy) | Writer (@BiteTV) | Musician (@PattiCakeTO) | I found Bessarion