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"Leaked." "Leaked" photos. Like that time someone leaked into my house and then leaked my safe full of money out to their car.
I'm glad Natalie Portman and Jacques Cousteau never got married, because it would be hard to think of a portmanteau for their last names.
♫ Bilbo, Frodo, Aragorn / Gollum, Kili, Fili, Thorin / Gandalf white, Gandalf grey / What else do I have to say / WE DIDN'T START THE SHIRE
AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHO CALLED HIM:
The Space Cowboy: 1
The Gangster of Love: 1
By agreeing to use this McDonald's Bell WiFi you hereby certify that 2015 is not off to the best start.
Today is Keanu Reeves' 51st birthday. If his age goes back below 50 at any point, he will die.
Oh yeah? Well where's my International MEN'S Day— *is crushed by a giant 5,000-ton history book*
... do you think J.J. Abrams' full name is Jar Jar Abrams???
A brunch place called Friends With Benedicts
Keanu Reeves turns 50 years old today. If his age goes back below 50 at any point, he will die.
CONFESSION: Sometimes I like to "Irish" up my morning coffee by throwing a couple potatoes in there.
H.R. GIGER: Doc, my penis hurts.
DOCTOR: You're pointing at your shoulder.
H.R. GIGER: Same diff, it's all penises really.
Stand-Up - @Just_For_Laughs | TV Writer - This Hour Has @22Minutes | Sketch: @GetSomeTO | Finding Bessarion/The Urbane Explorer | Feminist | Friendly
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