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♫ Bilbo, Frodo, Aragorn / Gollum, Kili, Fili, Thorin / Gandalf white, Gandalf grey / What else do I have to say / WE DIDN'T START THE SHIRE
Now comes the difficult moment Canadian companies have to decide whether to say they support our hockey team in commercials or condemn them.
"Boy, is my face read." – Yunel Escobar
Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. In fact, don't bring anything to a gunfight. Don't go to the gunfight. It's a *gunfight*.
"... I'm sorry, I'm not following at all; you are telling me some people did not get sick?" – The inventor of the Cronut burger
Designing the ultimate college poster: a big picture of Che Guevera which, when closely examined, is composed of thousands of Bob Marleys.
You can really tell a lot about someone from their 17,000 page manifesto.
They're laughing WITH me! :) They're pointing and laughing and taking pictures and accusing me of crimes WITH me! :)
–Rob Ford at the Oscars
I'm glad Natalie Portman and Jacques Cousteau never got married, because it would be hard to think of a portmanteau for their last names.
If you accidentally do something really rude, just quickly say, "Law of the jungle, bro," and everybody will think you're super-cool.
Comedian (Stand-up/@TheSketchersons) | Writer @BiteTV | Host of @UrbaneExploring | Musician @PattiCakeTO | I found Bessarion | Feminist | Friendly