Faithful females deserve the world?

Faithful men deserve oral twice a day.

Milfs are the best because fruit snacks.

I ate McDonalds twice in one night, sounds like a McStake.

Will twerk for pizza.

Relationship status: lying next to my bf staring deeply into our phones while his leg lightly grazes mine when he is rearranging his balls.

If you don't like vodka you probably like everything that sucks.

Tweet another picture of your daddy issues.

I'm the DJ when I'm operating the vehicle. I don't care if its your car, I don't care if "this is totes my jam" it's my songs or your life.

Ass so fat ripped my yoga pants.

I'm having sex as we tweet.

Well I'm getting naked.

Honestly I'm just thinking about sex.

Alright fuck I'm eating a chicken pot pie.

I've ate an entire foot long before, hey boys.

If you know he's cheating on his girlfriend would you tell her?

More important**

If you knew someone was subtweeting me would you tell me?

Things that are never bad 1) pizza. 2) sex. 3) refer to 1 & 2.

Not to boost my ego or anything but I was just the best dressed in Wal*mart.

Bitches bitching about other bitches bitching via social networks are the worst bitches of them all.

My eyes could kill, literally. pic.twitter.com/YdkHOni9hl

Aww another 'selfie' with a boob shot. You aren't insecure.

Merrriiicccaa! pic.twitter.com/KJMpuSe2be

I'm a classy alcoholic because, flower on head. pic.twitter.com/UdKEqAjroi

Stalk me all you want but when you find something you don't like, remember to fuck off. *flips hair* *suck it sign* *laughs because vagina*