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Milfs are the best because fruit snacks.
I ate McDonalds twice in one night, sounds like a McStake.
Will twerk for pizza.
Plot twist: a black girl orders a pumpkin spice latte.
Relationship status: lying next to my bf staring deeply into our phones while his leg lightly grazes mine when he is rearranging his balls.
Happiness straight from the bottle when real life's too hard to swallow.
*squats to look in refrigerator*
I'm having sex as we tweet.
Well I'm getting naked.
Honestly I'm just thinking about sex.
Alright fuck I'm eating a chicken pot pie.
Tweet another picture of your daddy issues.
If you don't like vodka you probably like everything that sucks.
Ass so fat ripped my yoga pants.
I just bought tupacs of eminems for 50 cent.
I'm the DJ when I'm operating the vehicle. I don't care if its your car, I don't care if "this is totes my jam" it's my songs or your life.
Y'all eat ass but can't even finish your veggies.
Things that are never bad 1) pizza. 2) sex. 3) refer to 1 & 2.
If you know he's cheating on his girlfriend would you tell her?
If you knew someone was subtweeting me would you tell me?
I've ate an entire foot long before, hey boys.
Not to boost my ego or anything but I was just the best dressed in Wal*mart.
I'm what Willis is talking about.
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