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Nothing is funnier than two people with bad grammar having a deep conversation
Apparently, Engineers talk how Doctors write
Hey people with protected tweets, you sure have overestimated your importance
Delhi University's cut off percentage for Science is 99.25%. Those who scored 60% are now laughing at those who scored 99.24%
A moment of silence for all the brilliant tweets that were tweeted at the wrong time
A girl with a semi-nude display picture tweeted 'Hello'. She got 50+ stars. I tweeted 'Hello', 10 people unfollowed me. Well played assholes
To all the fuckers who tweet inspirational shit,do you think we would learn life lessons from somebody who spends 15 hours a day on Twitter?
Girls who are cute and funny are 500% more sexy than the sexy girls
Tweeting funny stuff when you don't have enough followers is like shaving your pubes while you're still single
Tip for newbies: DO NOT tell your friends and relatives to follow you on Twitter just to increase the follower count. Thank me later
Hey all you people who have written "Dreamer" in their bio, I wish you suffer from insomnia
A pessimist sees the glass of wine as half empty. An optimist knows there's another bottle in the fridge
Diet tip: Uninstall Instagram
The problem with Twitter is that after some time, everyone starts thinking of themselves as a professional writer
I really don't remember what I used to do at red lights before I started using Twitter
Those ungrateful assholes who don't like retweets should probably quit Twitter. I mean, that's how I found you, sucker
The best thing about being rich is that you can remove airline baggage tags from your bags as soon as you come out of the airport
Never give a #FF to your Twitter crush. Some horny bastard on your TL would follow her and then you'd never know what's happening over DMs
"I am what I am" - Assholes who pretend to be someone else most of the time
GF: "To whom are you texting?".Me: "I'm not texting. I'm tweeting".GF: "Oh, tell me your Twitter username".Me: "JK, I was texting my mom"