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Great knock by Sanga. Aur ek baat, Rameez Raja ki maa ka bhosda
Mom: Pick up the gas cylinder
(14.2kg) and put it here.
Me: It's so heavy!
GF(60kg): Pick me up.
Me: Come here you ^_^
OMGFACT: You can be an atheist without telling it to everybody around you all the time
I want to be rich enough to confuse myself with the question "Should I recharge my phone battery, or buy a new phone?"
When a girl asks you a question and then says take your time, you've got exactly 5 seconds to answer that question
Zooming in very quickly on google maps is the closest I'll ever get to doing bungee jumping
First they tell you to turn off your lights for Earth Hour and then they blame you running over 200 people. Heh idiots
That one 'Favorite' from a person who you think doesn't even read any of your tweets means more than anything else
Me: Hey! How are you?
Me: *backs away and puts on helmet*
Sometimes you have to restrain yourself from opening whatsapp to have an alibi for not answering calls
Squirrels are just rats who went to a stylish hair salon
I saw a porno in which the girl started fucking the pizza delivery guy before eating the pizza. Who the fuck even does that to a PIZZA?
Nothing is more embarrassing than someone catching u repeatedly pressing the 'close doors' button while they're running towards the elevator
It's all fun & games until your best friend gets into a relationship behind your back with the woman whom you planned to ask out eventually
Life cycle of a guy's shoes in India:
1.Using only on special occasions.
3.For playing football in rain.
4.Gifting them to maid
People who don't mind being alone are the ones who suffer the least
The best way to drink a vegetable juice is to drink a coffee instead
Cracking knock knock jokes is my forte. #MCFC #RMFC IG: ka_unplugged