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Mom: Pick up the gas cylinder
(14.2kg) and put it here.
Me: It's so heavy!
GF(60kg): Pick me up.
Me: Come here you ^_^
Suicide bomber: Mai kaisi lag rahi hoon?
Yo Yo: Chhoti dress mein bomb lagdi mennu.
SB: Arre yaar matlab poora get-up change karna padega
I'm poor, but I'm not *tries-to-win-stupid-contests-on-twitter-at-the-cost-of-my-dignity* poor
Women are like "Terms and Conditions". You have no option but to agree with them
A girl's inked selfie pic: Nice dear. So proud of you.
A guy's: Bhosdiwale isme naya kya hai sab log vote dete hai bc
I'm "Hi. Koi acchi movie ka naam bolna" zoned
I spilled coffee on my keyboard but I guess it's fine now because I have it under CTRL
OMGFACT: You can be an atheist without telling it to everybody around you all the time
I want to be rich enough to confuse myself with the question "Should I recharge my phone battery, or buy a new phone?"
GF: I need some space.
Me: *snatches her phone, clears all the data and then hands it back to her* Here you go
Squirrels are just rats who went to a stylish hair salon
When a girl asks you a question and then says take your time, you've got exactly 5 seconds to answer that question
Hey girl are you Kieron Pollard cuz you're fucking useless
Zooming in very quickly on google maps is the closest I'll ever get to doing bungee jumping
Sometimes you have to restrain yourself from opening whatsapp to have an alibi for not answering calls
My plans are just like me. They don't work out. Cricket and football fanatic. CS. IG: ka_unplugged