I'm not being inconsistent. I'm just A/B testing my opinions.

Want to explore Twitter's massive data? We're hiring Data Analysts: http://t.co/YI3JVmn @jointheflock

Fair and balanced guide to SF vs NYC. I find the logic impeccable. http://t.co/ZsgXzz3O

I love reading tweets early Friday evening. Everyone's happiness and excitement shines through.

Heard a big goofy laugh and thought "that guy's laugh sounds just like Seth Rogan's." Walk around the corner and there is Seth Rogan.

Finally drinking this after a little over 2 years. Pretty good. #badlarry pic.twitter.com/pv8nGTQ4

Is there a more thrilling email subject line than "MANDATORY COMPLIANCE TRAINING"?

I dare you to watch this and not want to work at twitter: http://t.co/uiMWZu6s

Is the god-awful tilted 3D pie chart some kind of meta-comment on the lack of qualified data scientists? http://t.co/onyN1l4i

Big news: @meretita is pregnant. I'm going to be a dad!

Celebrities: You have to stop indulging your followers that beg for random retweets. Please, just stop it. #getoffmylawn

Starting to get concerned I'll have to fly out to pitch in the 53rd inning.

@j_ @luby @thiswillwork Oh, you French people with your fancy recipes.

First day of vacation status: just extended the vacation an extra day.

In a place that is half cafe, half bike shop. One of the patrons has a bunch of chard on the table in front of him. #sanfrancisco

Santa has one hell of a Travelling Salesman Problem to solve.

@cayley Good presentation, but I feel that removing Paula Deen on the whale was a missed opportunity. #regrets

Somehow I've put myself in charge of finding KPOP news for @jco.

I will not respond to my republican family's Facebook posts, I will not respond to my republican family's Facebook posts, I will not...

pic.twitter.com/c2CYzOMf