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Twitter makes me love people i've never met...Facebook makes me hate people I know.
Imagine my amazement when I found out female spelled backwards is sammich
My dad always said "the more followers your have..the better a leader you are." Twitter just blew that bullshit right outta the water.
Nothing says "Fuck you mom and dad" like bringing home an ugly girl for Christmas dinner.
Just was out at walmart this sexy black chick yelled into her phone "This is why I stick to white dick!" excuse me miss...
Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" was about sleeping with Kim Kardashian right?
There's someone on XboxLive with the username WizKhalifaWayne420_69 just in case you're wondering if the human race is still doomed.
There's a picture on Instagram that says "The purge has started in Detroit I saw pictures of guys with guns."
So...a regular day in Detroit
#GhettoTextSignatures "Gurl please tell me you goin to the club tonight! I'm gin get me some tonight" -- Pr0ud M@m@
2005: Kanye West releases song about Gold Diggers.
2012: decides to date one.
I've got 17 minutes to make it to McDonalds for breakfast, I've dreamed of this day ever since I was a little boy.
Ice Nine Kills is the Ebola of Metalcore.
"Damn girl you're so hot with that cigarette in your mouth and ashtray smell." -- Nobody, ever
Women say some really dumb shit..like "No I won't make you a sammich" and "Ok ok just don't hit me again"
Isn't it ironic Lebron was at the game and Romo quits playing in the 4th?
I am convinced that 80% of accidents Are caused by looking in your rear view at the cop that just passed.
#replacebandnameswithlesbian Cash Money Lesbians. Actually that would sound a lot more accurate.
"If I had the choice...of going to the university of louisville or not go to college...I wouldn't have went to college." -- Rajon Rondo
#BBN Spinelli's Downtown. The Simpsons. Former 364 lb fatty. ⤵98 Lbs since May 2014. Redhead lover. Lifter. Southpaw Outlaw.