Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Lets play a game! For every person that retweets or favs this, I’ll do 10 push-ups.
If you think a professional is expensive, wait until you try an amateur.
It is scientifically impossible to be sad while eating tacos. They've done studies.
❒Single ❒Taken ✔Winning
See cop. Slow down. Stop texting.
Realize I'm walking.
Woah — Amazon Same Day Delivery + Wine?
welcome to the future.
For tens of dollars, I will drink tea and yell at you about your social media strategy.
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
I'll videoblog me eating a sandwich for every person that favs or retweets this tweet.
In Australia, strippers slide UP the pole.
I had a date a few weeks ago that started with her asking me why I had so many twitter followers “you’re not that funny”
Guys iguanas have two penises and I am way too fucking sober to deal with this
For a follow-back, love me until the end of time. p.s., I love you.