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Turns out I can meow along to just about any song, just ask me! Or don't. I'll do it anyway.
TRUE: Today a boy called me "beefy." I'd be hurt, but I was more amused bc my 1st reaction was imagining @robdelaney giving me a thumbs up.
@marylandmudflap Hey there! Thank you for sending me a postcard AND for being such a joy to walk behind! http://t.co/Ke3CBVPf
If anyone wants to hate on Barbra, I will PHYSICALLY FIGHT YOU I'M NOT EVEN JOKING.
Excuse me Hollywood, I would like to see Erik Von Detten in more movies please. Thank you!
After careful consideration, I'm pretty sure that my spirit animal is ravioli.
My little sister is making wheelchair jokes during Drake's VMA performance. #soproud
If you're feeling down, just imagine a little girl with a thick Canadian accent passionately belting "Tomorrow" from Annie. Works for me.
In case you're curious where I get it from. pic.twitter.com/vf2K8yTifp
Listening to Rent (like I do) and remembering that in HS I desperately wanted to be Hispanic so I could one day play Mimi. Ah, young dreamz.
I've been vegetarian for three years, but I drove-thru KFC twice in one day about a month ago and ate shameful, shameful chicken. Shameful.
It's just.... that dress would make me look so bangin. Homework will never make me look bangin.
Ethically, how wrong would it be to pretend I'm Deaf to avoid small talk with strangers? Like super wrong, right?
Did someone tell Romney that "condescending smirk predator" was a good default face to go to while Obama was speaking or something?
@svennienicole GodDAMN you're hot. I wanna take some of that and have a weird drowsy make-out sesh with you.
You know how poets and artists hundreds of years ago would create masterpieces about the majesty of nature? Imma do that about Tylenol PM.
I was about to tweet something and then decided it was too personal and erased it. I feel like a lot of people don't know that is an option.
Sometimes I get so tickled I can't talk.
