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Best moment of zombie walk?
Being berated by a street preacher for glorifying the living dead.
My Aunt: Didn't Jesus rise from the grave?
Nickleback on both of my regular radio stations during my drive home. I did the rational thing and swerved into a lamppost.
Watching Olympic replays. Did you guys know that the Jamaican national anthem isn't Bob Marley's "Jammin"?
I heard he hung himself after Macauley Culkin told him about all the good times he missed out on at Neverland Ranch. #RIPBieber
Drive home today was ridiculous. Assholes all over the road. pic.twitter.com/48mLG7UQ
@itswrigley when guys do it, it's cock block. If a girl does it, it's called a clam jam.
Anybody who does all of their banking at an ATM while there is a lineup behind them is an asshole
Just as I start to nod off again, the cat wants to say hello. I swear to dog I'm making Moo Goo Guy Pan for dinner tonight
Heading out for the 30+ person family Easter dinner. Luckily, I'm now old enough to kick kids out of chairs. Only advantage to age really.
If I was a shark I'd call all my friends "chum" just to fuck with their heads.
Also, I'd probably eat them because I'm a fucking shark.
Winter is like that crazy ex girlfriend from high school. It might be nice to look at but its a huge pain in the ass pic.twitter.com/V2fOFc62mc
Told we have to label all the drawers in the desks at work. This isn't mine but I had to share. pic.twitter.com/gdPbuaIT
I don't even need to read @stef_onya tweets. Any chick wearing storm trooper armor in her avi gets a follow back!
Just realized something else I hate about winter. @h0tmessbarbie changed her avi from a bikini to a parka. Winter is bullshit.
@tallerthanatree A terrorist, that's who. Or a reformed alcoholic. But at least the terrorist won't talk about being a terrorist all night.
Forget it. Nothing creative is getting done today. Stared at the book for half an hour and changed nothing. Need my writing space again.
@tortilla_nazi Do the whole videotaped surprise thing. Cuz it'll be funny not cuz I'm a creeper who wants to see your kids. I'll shut up now
Sports play-by-plays. Asinine remarks about society in general. Ready and eager for the Zompocalypse
Stats can't be shown as @kanuck_kryz has never signed in to Favstar.
