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When a guy finally shaves his winter beard, I am like "Oh great, now I have to shave my legs."
Beauty tip- you don't have to wash your face when you are drunk because we are all going to die.
i hope a bear never sneaks into my house because my first reaction would be to snuggle.
An email I just got, "Critical Period-Donate Blood."
Is eating baby carrots vegetable abortion? When does a carrot become a carrot? When it's still in the ground?
Steph Curry is the East Coast Santa Claus. We go to bed before the game and wake up to see what .gifs he got us.
Orcas favorite food is okra. Just kidding, it's Sea World trainers.
We should rename our National Parks things like "Second Amendment" and "Prayer in School" so people would be passionate about saving them.
Glad to hear New York has been so good to multi millionaire Taylor Swift. I was worried for a second it would be tough on her.
Remember when they made League of Their Own in 1992 and then never had to make another movie about women in sports?
Oh my god. We get it. You know each other. Now stop talking on the train.
What about a parody of Her but it's a refrigerator, and it doesn't talk but the person falls in love because there is food inside?
A clear sign a girl has been masturbating is all her stuffed animals are facing the wall.
"We gotta give this female character some depth"
"How about she eats a lot?"
"Oh god no. She eats a lot and she skinny"
Trump winning New Hampshire, Kanye tweeting about Bill Cosby, my my my it seems like tomorrow's blogs are practically writing themselves.
Guy on the train made a big character choice to be the "man who doesn't stop coughing." not sure I saw the humor in it, but he committed.
Grandma, can you read this?
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