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i hope a bear never sneaks into my house because my first reaction would be to snuggle.
Is eating baby carrots vegetable abortion? When does a carrot become a carrot? When it's still in the ground?
A clear sign a girl has been masturbating is all her stuffed animals are facing the wall.
I don't regret anything in my life, because everything has lead me to who I am now. Which is kind of a shitty sad person.
Guy on the train made a big character choice to be the "man who doesn't stop coughing." not sure I saw the humor in it, but he committed.
I like my coffee like I like my coffee. With almond milk but soy will do. PLEASE DON'T CRASH TWITTER WITH RETWEETS.
I still believe that the greatest award a person could win is a free pizza party.
The only reason I would live in Queens is for that sweet above ground subway twitter action.
my favorite new song is Zip Car by that band Pandora.
I am great at keeping secrets because I am a bad listener.
Eat like no one is watching!
How badass would I look if I got mascara tears tattooed on my face?
I wish they would just make prequels first.
Yes, please. I want this man deciding what women can do with their bodies: http://www.estes.senate.state.tx.us/assets/photos/Estes.jpg … Sen Craig Estes suxxxx. #StandWithWendy
Cops is on. I always think it will be funny, but it is just sad.