@ders808 What Would You Poo?

@nottjmiller My "dog" likes to "lick" my "face." #quotesmakeitcreepy

@jleefilm Hey that's not fair. I also snap and clap sometimes.

The kid from Liar Liar is 24. The kid from Blank Check is 31. The kid from First Kid is 32. Have a good day.

Moms LOVE Michael Buble.

Pitino wasn't anticipating the assassination attempt immediately after winning.

New idea for a game - instead of NBA Jam, WNBA Layup.

I've showered three days in a row like I'm Kate fucking Middleton.

Jay-Z is a lucky, lucky man.

Tried plugging my headphones into the wrong hole on my computer, so I'm finally starting to understand how guys feel.

Will a female play in the NBA before Derrick Rose plays again?

"Are my bangs too short?" the insecure porn star asked.

I could go pro in hitting the snooze button.

I love a well-placed hymen.

NEVER FORGET. #boozer pic.twitter.com/icxDF2jW5x

I'm an adult; you have to let me dance my own battles.

Damn, Cedar Rapids lost a good one today.

Now onto the real game today...

@bweezy319 Why didn't your mom change your twitter password too??

My mom still double-clicks on every link.