Just told myself it was time to take off my pants so I can clean my room..then asked myself if that was tweetable....help :(

I'd rather get vagina punched across the room than wake up before 9 ..

If I end sentences with just one period you can bet im serious. . ..

Peeing in the dark is never not a good idea

I was honestly expecting a lot more zombie tweets....#disappointed. #gonnagoeataface

You should see the apalled faces I make whilst reading Twitter....

Just gonna live my life the way I want to.. And if you don't like it, then you can just fuck right off

Make sure you all BLOCK and REPORT @z0mb13d for @shadygeekdad !! Guys like him shouldn't be allowed on Twitter.

This guy just got me over 100 followers for the very first time ((: >>@hallpasscanada << ...much love!!

*SUBTWEET..I wish you'd fall off the face of the fucking planet!

Talking to you "ditsy" girl who acts fucking retarded for attention!

Holy hell! Look at @hallpasscanada and his new sexytime avi!

If you block someone, do they know about it? ..obviously asking for a friend. .

Where da fuck are these smiley face with hearts for eyes coming from?

Sometimes my love* slips out and exposes itself so everyone can see it.
*boob

The cute one stopped following me :(...looks like it's your turn now (; **SUBTWEET**

WHY DO I KEEP LOSING FOLLOWERS?! .... Nevermind don't answer that.

@hallpasscanada don't even pretend you didn't LOVE it!

@hallpasscanada Kelly?! Ouch Steven ouch! But ((TWug)) for the effort if I can sit on your chair!

It's really sexy when you have a cold and a Kleenex falls out of your bra in the middle of the hallway.
Sorry you had to see that..:(

Phewww! almost just sent my whole drafts folder. I wouldn't want to kill you guys off with too much humour all at once now would I!?