@mattzollerseitz Terrence Malick's kitchen spice rack consists only of thyme.

Tom Hardy rapping with a baby strapped to his chest. Shut the Internet down, we're done here. (h/t @jennimiller76) http://t.co/WDsMHAMS

The cast of Iron Man 3 just sang happy birthday to a 15-year-old audience member. Priceless. #SDCC

DAY: MADE. RT @ericdsnider actor tries to score w/ woman on plane, who tweets the whole thing. http://t.co/d0U9MjKy (h/t @thefilmstage)

Mike Birbiglia does a Q&A after his (excellent) film screens at #Sundance, makes with the funny: http://t.co/GEJpsHPi

Have at it, Internet. #goldenglobes RT @ditzkoff: "Look how drunk Glenn Close is."  http://gifboom.com/x/edc00b63 

Dude on R train platform holding roses whilst making jerk-off motions at me: Thanks for succinctly summing up my opinion of Valentine's Day.

If you're a violence-phobe, The Raid will make you pee yer pants. If you're an action-phile, The Raid will make you pee yer pants. #Sundance

A moment of silence on this holiday for all the Instagram filters working overtime to artistically capture expertly-crafted logs of Tofurky.

As a kid, I told my mom I wanted to be Roger Ebert when I grew up. I know now why she laughed then: no one will ever, ever be Roger Ebert.

I bet if folks showed Romney WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN as a rebuttal to his single parents/violence stance, he'd be all "But I said GUNS."

Ask and ye shall receive (alarmingly fast!) RT @kellyoxford Best moment of the night has been GIF'd
http://t.co/ObrFQkEK

My mom's first Facebook friend? MY EX BOYFRIEND. It's official: my life is being scripted by Larry David.

This is lovely/not what you think. RT @natashabadhwar Why would anyone want to have children?  http://bit.ly/14XAT2c  I don't recommend it.

Anne Hathaway, Reminding Us Why She Won, Acts Convincingly Surprised to Receive Golden Globe

@power_lloyd Prepare yourself. It's a gauntlet of pain.

Amour is exquisite and devastating and I will never ever ever shake it and oh God whyyyyyyyy. #NYFF

So @rcjohnso and I had no fun chatting about @loopermovie. None whatsoever. http://t.co/QHtswyKA

Just discovered I spent a large portion of the afternoon running errands with cookie on my face. GENTLEMEN, PLEASE - FORM AN ORDERLY QUEUE.

Waiting for a delayed LIRR train and yes, Brooklyn - we have HAIL in 80-degree weather. Bring on the locusts! http://t.co/lWE487fe