Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

It is estimated that 40% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. They have it wrong, it's women who suffer.

When milk goes bad it become a cereal killer.

I'm just one wine cooler and a tube top away from a Nascar rally.

Remember... Monday is take your child to look for work day.

Husband thinks a wetnap is going to sleep after sex..

Mad cow, Bird Flu, Camel Toe. Have now reached pandemic proportions.

My friend said she did a Brazilian last night, how many is a brazilian?

Hubby: You look fat in that. Me:The shower?

No one wants to cuddle after sex anymore, they just jump out of the car.

I get pisssed at the redunancy of being asked to enter my PIN number.

I'm not saying all sr citizens who refuse technology should be publicly flogged, but a few, would give the others incentive to try harder.

When you see someone on a fatty scooter you think...now there's a person who is really commited to eating. I admire their dedication to food

Ever have one of those $8.00 drinks at the bar that taste like melted popsicle and spit?

Is it ok to shake a baby, just to see if you can get that last peice of poop to fall off it's butt?

So...if a guy buys you a blow job shot, should you spit it in his face?

Aced my oral exams, head of my class. That's a mouth full. *swallows quietly*

No longer needs to go to the gym because banging your head against the wall burns 175 calories an hour. Who knew?

My poor friend with glaucoma will be completely blind in a couple years.......If I keep stealing his weed.

"Eat what ever you want and still loose weight" I strickly adhear to that diet every day of life, NOT WORKING.