@kyle_lippert Oh my God. Cheese Biscuits!!!!!!!!

I just finished my 2 paged philosophy paper and it only took me 3 quarters!

I just bought not one, but two Hunger Games Collection Nail Polishes. I hate myself.

@raytothecon But most important thing you will ever know is that YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

#sincetheworldusending #iwannaslap @kassemg @rustyrockets @bainerd @shanecomedy @getoffendedbone @getoffendedcom because I love you guys

Follow this girl. She is ME if I were older, funny, crude, and then funny again. "@staceynightmare: Fridge Log  https://vine.co/v/bEeEVArzImD "

Also alien people come to Earth to start humanity? Scientology just oozes out of Mr. Smith's pores.

My posse is Cranberry scented Dial soap, one of the kids from the A&TT Iphone commercials, and the song "Kokomo" #weirdoposse

@finallyhesleeps Thanks, man. That means a lot.

Also good food and diabetes. "@raytothecon: Being black is pretty much just having a huge dick & getting pulled over."

Thanks for the mammaries. Thanks for the mammaries. It taste like juice only sweeter.

I cooked dinner the last three days and today I baked a delicious cobbler! I think I'm pregnant... And where are all my shoes and socks?

Guilty! "@finallyhesleeps: Ok... which one of you assholes wanted a blizzard for Christmas?"

Happy Birthday! @staceynightmare Why so funny?

IKR. Its so sexy. RT @raytothecon Romney sounds like a chain-smoking grandmother. #Debate

Tee hee hee Justin Bieber, Jonas Brothers, 1D & crack cocaine RT @raytothecon According to Twitter, I'm most similar to 15 year old girls.

@stopbeingfamous Buying time?

Ahahaha RT @raytothecon How is there not a porn parody called Inspect Her Vadget?

My parents are such assholes. Guess that's why I'm the shit. Get it? No, but seriously. I hate them.

@shanecomedy Why didn't you come to Chicago?!?!?!