Just realised I'm wearong my knicers inside out. If only it was because I had taken them of for somebody. Its actually bcos I'm just stupid.

"For everyone's sake just try not to dutty wine until you really know people, ok?" - the text I just received from @moyaroc. Sage words.

To Do- revise, revise, revise, go see Dear John, get really skinny/ tanned in Sri Lanka, go to uni, marry rich, cheat with hottie, die happy

Staring at my friends from outside jacks thinking how lucky I am to have them

Most surreal thing I've ever heard my mum say- "darling your fake ID is in the front pocket of my bag" and she said it so calmly.

I need a cock(tail)

"Woah, you have bigger feet than me! Like, wow! They must give you amazing balance!" I definitely need a new driving instructor.

"The most embarassing that's ever happened to me was being born, I was naked in front of everybody!'- leighton meesters HILAIR

Eating salad in front of the football feels like eating a kebab in front of the opera.

Woah that sounded much angrier than I intended- think of it as a light hearted lol not a genuine sad-tweet. Whose alone when there's TV?

"On his high muslim horse" @amypermaul

This cough is definitely my body telling me to a) stop smoking b) stop drinking shots c) stop goin out so much d) stop dressing like a whore

"Moya Crockett, the closest thing we have to a super hero" - I think its fair to say @laurenjerome has a bit of a crush @moyaroc

There is nothing more humbling than the bank re-iterating that you are single, living with your parents and unemployed.

i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real...i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless- story of my life

The banana i got at dinner yesterday had 'this is not a banana. This is my pleasure toy, Iren. Please do not eat Iren.' written on it.

Watching Fearne and Mischa Barton is like watching your childhood hero snort coke and have sex before your very eyes.

I have melted chocolate all down my cleavage. Not even in a good way.....as in, not like anyone else is involved...erotica is dead and gone.

Kristin Stewart was nominated as best actress? I must be in with a chance of getting nominated for best break dancer.

When I fail my exams all ill have left to show for it is my 10 friends from London.