@jinkhet Dear Penthouse, my neighbor has a nice rack.

Any gals want to play gay chicken in front of Chick-fil-a? It just feels like the right thing to do.

@franchisesays @jpf87 @michellequillen @variantdash Really, the only time something Asian could keep you up all night. #hadto

This is what happens when you text me instead of your girlfriend on accident. http://t.co/C87qEuFr

Scumbag Steve now has a music video. Everything is right with the world: http://t.co/LE8R40wQ

“@stevenamiri: Sent from my iPad.” Sent from my iDGAF.

“@kirstenstubbs: @kaylamckinney Also, I feel like this girl is you without any filter: @jdelwoo.” I see vagina dentata referenced. I approve

Image as interest: How the Pepper Spray Cop could change the trajectory of Occupy Wall Street http://t.co/7LG3Rcqz #OWS #in

Digital diversity: @youtube is most ethnically diverse, @linkedin has most older users http://t.co/Gwvoj9Lq via @care2 & @soc_impact #in

“@robdelaney: AWESOME. RT @colvinius Classic: caption-writer goes rogue. Click through before they're taken down: http://t.co/DjilTvjf #OWS”

I wonder how many points you get for checking into heaven on @foursquare. #rapture

How many times can you reheat the same cup of coffee before it kills you? #forgetful

"Watch this, watch this. This'll show the power of the force bird." - my boyfriend, playing Star Wars Angry Birds and not getting laid later

Boyfriend and I spent a half hour silently snuggling on the couch. Either this is romance, or two people sick of hearing each other speak.

Just writing an acceptance speech only works for Leslie Knope duh.

@jinkhet Thank you! One more year closer to being a cougar. ;)

Ladies who vote against a woman's right to choose are precisely the same ladies who need take advantage of abortion services. #stopbreeding

The nuns are not amused. http://t.co/IlR9A8ZW

.@robdelaney just told me he hopes my genitals rot and fall off in his AMA. Another thing to cross off my bucket list. http://t.co/DLNxh4aX

@elkmating Definitely some variety of stroke.