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Women - controlling BJs since the beginning of time.
"Jihadi John" sounds like a shitty open miker. One that doesn't kill.
someone took a picture of me and I didn't suck my stomach in have I finally transcended this cruel hologram called reality
ho dont do it. yuhh
We all wish we had a ride or die bitch like Lance Armstrong has.
"I haven't done this for a LONG time"
[reaches into hat and pulls out rabbit skeleton]
Azula puts the "hot" in psychotic.
I hate hearing something "broke the Internet." It's like if I say I'm going to "date" or "lose weight" Nice in theory,but never gonna happen
There is seriously nothing better than busting out a pic of the dress, passing around your phone, and watching madness ensue.
The maximum distance I will travel to a dance club is eight ounces of vodka.
your pinned tweet is so funny. good choice.
Jaden Smith's tweets sound like Leonard Nemoy's poetry dipped in battery acid & given millions of dollars for being born.
One hour left to send me "kiss" tweets xoxo
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit" was a watershed moment in cinematic history for guys who liked to masturbate to cartoons in movie theaters
They're distracting us
I'm starting to regret dumping Adele. Contact at firstname.lastname@example.org
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