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I know I did not just see kink shaming on my timeline. My people don’t do that.
I love you guys today. Every one of you. It'd be a good day to ask me to borrow money is what I'm saying.
We're about one week away from hearing "on fleek" in a country song.
You use alcohol to clean wounds.
You drink it if the wounds are inside of you.
Thanks for the pick @lindaindisguise, I appreciate it. Check out this lovely lady if you haven't.
Birthday is coming up. I don't want to visit an old time. I want to rewind time. Really really far!
best pizza toppings, ranked: pepperoni, mushroom, artichoke, feta, olives, jalapeno, onion, sausage, ham (NOT c.bacon), green pepper.
Pasta never talks back. It just wants more cheese.
Marry that pasta.
Still lamenting my inability to change into a werewolf…
Sorry I haven't been around much – I bit into a peppercorn on Tuesday.
It's weird how I tweet and you're all in love with me now.
OK, I said Geronimo. Now what?
Ray Rice's wife did a great job with the song " I can't feel my face when I'm with you"
I'm starting to regret dumping Adele. Contact at email@example.com
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