Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
These "Expendables" pictures continue to be a giant "F you" to Jeff Speakman, the Perfect Weapon.
Let's face it. We're the rodeo clowns of Twitter.
is there a tutorial on being an adult
When ordering at Starbucks, I just say a bunch of words and hope for the best.
Carl: It's so nice out there today.
Me: Tell me something I don't know.
Carl: Polar bears are all left-handed.
Me: Fair enough.
The inspirational Bible quote right next to her slutty FB Profile picture means Jenny is totally going to heaven.
“Welcome to Missouri, America’s Drugstore. We aren’t just allowing abuse, we’ve created a business model for dealers" http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/21/us/missouri-alone-in-resisting-prescription-drug-database.html?smprod=nytnow&smid=nytnow-share …
Obama to speak on Ukraine at 10:50 am
This is your pilot speaking. Well, not actually yours. Like I'm not your property. I'm a person. A GOD DAMN HUMAN BEING. You all disgust me.
"I'm sorry" I mean it when I say it! It means you're more important than my ego
So don't fuck it up by trying to make me feel worse about it
After flipping through my high school yearbooks, I had to send 37 apologies on Facebook because I forgot to stay cool.
:::shits in Quran:::
I don't think I'm better than everyone. Just whoever's around me at the time.
her to me. I was like "omg. A looked so beautiful in her wedding pics." She "it's all makeup. She actually looked very fat." Me: err😕