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Current mood: I seriously love cereal right now.
For those who love deep.. time lasts forever
"You're so hot"
I whispered as I took my plate of food out of the microwave
Fuck your outrage
Now lets get to the important issues of the day
*leans back in recliner*
So...how about Kermits new piece of ass, aye?
Sign this. Kim Davis, the clerk discriminating against gay people in Ky, needs dealt with. Like yesterday.
Used to be I’d ask, “Will there be dancing?” before accepting a party invitation. Now it’s, “Will I have to stand?”
Things you all got outraged over and now don't care about:
2) Cecil the lion
3) Everything always
Breakups would be so much easier if there was an "unsubscribe from relationship" button.
On the other hand, I can now announce that I'm working on *this.* LOOK AT THE PRETTY! https://twitter.com/saladinahmed/status/638747307874250753 …
"the fuck is this shit" - my dog when i drop some lettuce on the floor
You can lie about your looks, job, many things on here. If you lie about being deployed to Iraq and killing kids, you deserve what you get.
Google's daily logo is celebrating Google's new logo. Bit big headed.
Especially considering it's the 162nd birthday of Wilhelm Ostwald
I need to get rid of some furniture. I keep running out of beer bottle room.
"I have very strong opinions..."
Oh, you mean like absolutely everybody?
Only rule of pessimist club is,
Don't worry, it'll never work out.
Today I was told I have a "Midwestern" look about me which I think just translates to "pasty with hips"
Always the guy having to piss like a race horse...
Never the guy ready to win a race.
I'm starting to regret dumping Adele. Contact at email@example.com
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