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I really wish palindrome was a palindrome. Someone really shit the bed on naming words that day
Pink Uggs are a useful tool for determining who to hate at first glance.
These are my feelings, if you don't like them I have others
Did you guys know you all have beating hearts inside your bodies. Let's fall in love today
Hey folks who make comics: never ever ever stop because somewhere someone's life is better because of you
Be quiet Zooey Deschanel, nobody asked you.
Never do: consider the immeasurable weight of existence
My definition of marriage has always been "hi I think you're awesome let's hang out forever"
Someone's license plate just informed me that I HAVE A FRIEND IN JESUS. So. Suck it, other friends.
Fight Club but instead of fighting you eat burritos
I mean I'm not looking for much in a partner, just someone who likes Harry and the Potters and knows how to pick out produce
Related, does anyone know anything about computer repair? So far I have tried:
1) Staring at it in absolute horror
2) This tweet
It doesn't matter who you are, you can't tell someone else how to live their life. Either be supportive or shut the fuck up.
Today I saw a woman who had a tattoo of a hobo squirrel with a little tiny bindle and everything. I think it changed my life
When your spiderman sweater is covered in cat hair and you realise maybe adulthood isn't for you
Just going to sit in this coffee shop eating carrot cake until someone walks over and falls in love with me. There is no plan B.
I tried taking a picture of my cat to post on twitter but he moved before I had a chance to be single forever.