Been there, done that, didn't learn anything, will do it again.

I'm not here to make things better. Only to observe and pass judgement.

Upside to Naked Stretching = I can touch my toes. Downside = It's not with my fingers.

I'd kiss you, but I read your Tweets, I KNOW where that mouth has been.....

Facebook is for my friends and family. Twitter is just for me.

Been so long since I've had sex, I think my virginity is starting to grow back!

The fluttery feeling in your stomach. The sound of your heart beating; so loud you think he might hear. The thrill of the newness. That.

I've met some of the coolest people I've never met, on Twitter.

Sometimes being single rocks, and I love it. Other times it just sucks. Hmmmm do you suppose if I sucked more .............

I came home to an empty house after work. Almost as good as sex, but no where near as good as sex in an empty house......

Every time I shop I buy canned tuna thinking I'm all out. I may have to become a crazy cat lady to use it all up.

A lady never tells......... good thing I aint no lady. What fun would THAT be?

I have decided that I need to drink more often.....

I wasted years of my life waiting for the right time to do something. The right time is NOW.

Get a job, Quit lying all the time. Keep your hands to yourself. - all things my ex wouldn't do. I know, I'm so demanding right?

Half way through my walk today my legs felt like they were on fire. That's what I get for exercising.

How can drinking be anything BUT right?

I never did make dinner. The kids didn't ask about eating till 7 so I told them to make peanut butter & jam. I win.

Its a miracle! I got my artificial tree back into its original BOX! Would've been easier to get a greased pig into a pantsuit, but I DID it!

Changed into my fire-man pants, men's t-shirt and sweatshirt. All stolen from different guys. I see a pattern here. I'm a klepto tramp. Huh