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On the journey of life, I chose the psycho path.
It's scientifically proven that women can be satisfied with only 3.5 inches, and it doesn't matter if it's a Visa or MasterCard.
What do you call bears with no ears?
I'd be skinnier if it wasn't for food.
'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards is 'Dammit I'm mad'.
I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work.
To kill a circus, go for the juggler.
I wonder how long I'd be on hold if my call wasn't important to them.
The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
I'm addicted to Twitter. Home is where I hang my @
Thanks to Twitter it takes me 10 hours to watch one movie.
Discovering a funny Twitterer is like finding an X on a treasure map.
Ever notice how the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you all riled up in the first place?
The American four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.
How to Be Annoying on Twitter
1) TWEET LIKE THIS
2) Tw33t l1k3 th15
3) #tweet #like #this
4) Tell people how to tweet
Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.
2,000 lbs. of Chinese soup = won ton
"Get off Twitter. Get off Twitter." - Me to myself about every 20 minutes
I think the key to liking yourself is setting up a second Facebook account.
My life is based on a true story.