#RIPRushLimbaugh Died carrying babies back into a burning orphanage

I swear to God Facebook is just a digital place for people to share their bumper stickers and phrases stitched on pillows

And With Strange Aeons Even Death May Die, Charlie Brown

Who's lazier, I wonder? Millennials, or a magazine running another goddamn "Kids These Days" cover story?

Block and report for spam, please:  https://twitter.com/_BostonMarathon 

@brendlewhat @duncanidunno I heard some white people were opening up a "Protestant Church" near the shootings. A slap in the face.

♫ ♪ The best part of waaaaking uppp ♫ ♪ is ｎｏｔｈｉｎg

Prestigious Actor and Actress in SUBURBANITES WHO ARE SAD, coming approximately every 18 months from Motion Picture Studio

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Hate Celebrity X But Not Celebrity Y for Q2 2013 As Determined By Gossip Media Hive Mind (Slideshow)

Hey remember that hilarious Guy Fieri menu? Via @a_girl_irl here are where the jokes were stolen from:  http://i.imgur.com/ZQ0IVbU.png 

I think Moving On With Our Goddamn Lives would play a really good young Han Solo

And, finally, the best two-tweet sequence of all time: 1.  https://twitter.com/BESTPORNCOMMENT/status/235365839862374400 … 2.  https://twitter.com/BESTPORNCOMMENT/status/235365880404529152 …

"COLLINS AIN'T A HERO, FIRST RESPONDERS AND VETS, THEY'RE HEROES!!!" *votes for guy who passes austerity measures*

Listen I'm just saying, we already KNOW Dora is a brown person wearing a sentient backpack, so at least bring her in for QUESTIONING

I think the only sensible response to an epic nine-state storm is to extend tax cuts for the wealthy and let the private sector do the rest.

@brendlewhat "Dearest Bedelia: I write to you on the eve of war. My troops are young, barely not boys. Our maid knocked my rifle over this m

oh fuck you RT @attackerman What ‘Game of Thrones’ Can Reveal About The Boston Suspect’s Interrogation

If only the kids asking Twitter who Neil Armstrong was could somehow tap into the most comprehensive worldwide database of all time.

People on Facebook, just give George Takei your password and let him run your account already.

@mountain_goats "now Tim Tebow's Christianity, when are we going to get to hear more about THAT?"