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The governments of China, Iran, North Korea, Somalia, Sudan and Syria would like to congratulate the United States.
While on my bike this morning a motorist yelled: "Get on the sidewalk!" So I shouted back: "Obama is NOT a Muslim!" Teachable moment.
Hint: if you're not funny the other 364 days of the year, there's a good chance your April Fool's "joke" isn't funny either.
And screw this gracious revisionism. Mitt Romney is *not* an "honest and decent man."
Happy birthday Ronald Reagan. Thank you for hardcore punk.
Avoid the Marina. Out of control fans are double parking and insisting on complimentary zinfandel pours. #sfgiants
CNN is reporting that people are tweeting that Al Jazeera is reporting that the ruling party headquarters is on fire.
That's a creative way to avoid facing Brian Wilson.
RIP naming your child Mitch.
No matter your politics, you have to respect Kentucky for their open-mindedness in electing Ru Paul to the Senate.
While you bathe in Yankees Schadenfreude, remember this: George W. Bush celebrates with you.
Show me on this Constitution where the TSA man touched you.
My schedule today looks brutally oppressive.
Oh right, Columbus Day.
Just had a freak-out because my phone wasn't in my pocket. Turns out I was using my phone and it was in my hands.