Text "ICT" to 505050 to donate $10 to Wichita earthquake relief

I'd name my racehorse Trojan. Then, as the gates open, a dirt bike bursts out of a papier-mâché horse & people would be like, "oh, history!"

I heard the weather outlook just got upgraded to "Certain Death"

I just received @Mike_FTW's @Quarterly shipment #FTW02. Such an amazing experiment in storytelling. Props Mike.

I think a funny thing would be a reusable shopping bag with "GOD HATES BAGS" printed on it

Protip: use this time to tidy your basement.

Please do check your Wichita Eagle, as @lacyjhansen is listed as the fastest Kansas Woman in the Boston Marathon.

I finally found a good use for Flash. http://twitpic.com/4ksehk

My favorite dish on the holiday table is Passive Aggressiveness.

WICHITA DESIGNERS: Think you can build a better logo for Century II? Do it. http://www.century2point0.com Please RT! (via @meetblink) b://

Dear Conan,
We love you. hard.
Signed,
The internet
http://bit.ly/cdJbdy
#TeamCoco

You guys! RT @anonymous We claim responsibility for the Wesley twitter feed hacking.

Don't worry. I've duct taped my iPhone to my hand so I can keep the tweets going EVEN IF I am mid air. #commitment

Now would be a really ironic time for a freight train to pass through #ict

Tonight is the night! George Washington will come down your chimney and leave presents under you cherry tree.

Power out. Losing control. Family turning on each other.

Everybody thinks its great to have an office dog. http://t.co/4Z1zR3oe

Hear that "tap, tap" reducing your new car's value? That's hail! Read more here: http://t.co/mFaQ4ppZ

If you are in Wichita and worried about the storms, just think of how the insurance adjusters feel.
"It's gonna be quite a Monday!"

The terrorists have won. #ambassador