"I wish I knew then what I know now,
I'd probably do the same."

Oh, phone you continue to rock my world. I see you decided to delete all my contacts. Thanks. Much appreciated.

2 and a Half Men was cancelled because Charlie Sheen was portraying his on screen character outside the studio? #itscalledpractice #research

Painting my nails purple. #thingsIknowyoucareabout #thingsyouplanyourdayaround

Waiting for @thekillertruth to lace his Fila sandals and go in on #hoestodolist

@peaceofaheart @savannahgeiger @brookeizzle @givemeharrylove @hwendling_ @zeldafitzlauryn HAPPY FESTIVUS BBYS

I'm convinced @zak_bagans "Dungeon Wear" is just his dirty clothes lying in his dungeon. #cantfoolme

This lady just acted like I was a terrorist. All I did was show up with my mom for her fingerprint appointment.

reblogg this if you support gay rights, i want to follow you http://tumblr.com/xwj32qq124

Dear porno commercials: I would NOT like to chat with hot girls looking for trouble. I'd just like for you to GTFO so I can watch Jackass.

*irritated sigh* Tumblr, I just want to post a quote. That's all. Why is that the only option I can't do?

Yes, #prayforjustin. Because a fucking cold is a serious issue. -__- Why don't you pray for a legit serious issue? Like those in the South.

FYI: God actually supports gay marriage. Why do you think rainbows appear in the sky?

I just watched a chick get tattooed. More specifically, it was a koi fish. What I plan on getting. Bah!! I want mine now!!! :o

ok @hatebreed @thisishell AND @terrorhardcore under one roof in my city!? it would be a crime not to go. 😵

because this should happen on SNL @cmpunk @thisishell @kiddrussell @tobymorse @hatebreed pic.twitter.com/ISGqpIxa

Congrats Quan Cosby. You're atop the trends because you're an idiot.

Dear @facebook,
All we asked for was a dislike button. And in return you gave us shit. And annoyed us with chat. Why?
Sincerely,
I hate you.

I think a @skrillex remix of @themoxy's "Step Down" would sound pretty damn epic.

I want some cupcakes. related: my Android phone doesn't think cupcakes is a word. you cannot fathom the hate I have for this damn phone.