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@charredlarvae do you think every time he turns on the centrifuge in the lab he whispers "you gotta keep em separated" to himself and smiles
is it just me or is james franco getting more handsome every year? pic.twitter.com/kJjjIb6i
Failproof pick-up line: go up to someone & say "You dropped your nametag" then hand them a sugar packet that you've written SEX SLUT on.
RT if you've ever gotten a stranger pregnant on purpose then fled their lives or if you own a tshirt
trying to get my fake news twitter off the ground today. did y'all hear the POOP resigned? ahahahaha (FLUSH) your RTs will be appreciated.
@neilsandwich @bryanerik made a portrait of u neil pic.twitter.com/tXiFQPiN
anyone know of some sperm banks with good deals today? Bastee's has a bogo sale on Chinese stock but I don't wanna blow my load so to speak
@narwhalynn congratulations on your birth. we're all so proud! pic.twitter.com/FCDlT6m1
"black SNL is good at being eddie murphy." - @bryanerik, master of race relations
Angry, frothy spittle formed around his mouth. "I want," he demanded, his voice shaking with rage, "this box of Cheez-Its for 20 cents off."
"Yes," he whispered orgasmically as he shut his eyes, savoring the complex taste of the Awesome Blossom on his tongue. "Yes."
I hop all these change dot org emails are about changing it to dot ogre but I'll never know because I keep deleting them
fast & furious 6 made a trillion dollars this weekend but vin diesel donated it all to muscular children in need
@narwhalynn once a professor winked at me & I've been constantly turned on ever since. I can't even ride a bike anymore. I should sue
RT @neilsandwich HYPOTHETICALLY what if my balls were filled w roaches? Would I go to a dr & if so should I have gone when it started in '05
♫ if you wanna be my lover you gotta bang all my friends / eat a brick of cream cheese, on our centipede be the end ♫
one less lonely quesadilla
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