912 away from the big 1000!!

Is it rapture or rupture day?
Asking for my appendix

If this rapture thing happens we're gonna look pretty silly.All dead and everything.

She named the last kid after her bong,Piper,if she calls this one Crystal Meth I won't be surprised.

I have not 1 but 5 iPad bot followers? I ain't buying another one so go away

Yep goodnight I apologize now
Cringe you
Er love you
I mean it
I FOOKING LOVE YOU
AND YOU
'SPESH YOU
and Ginger in corner I love you too

hash cookie Dorothy? Awesome rainbows and tin shit. Dont mind if i do aunt em.#wizardofOZ

bugger the Melbourne Cup,i want to know Why isn't onion pronounced "on-on"??

No point telling you to stop it so ..go blind see if I care

You guys make me feel normal
What ever the fuk that is

I can't get a job. Inner child care is very hard to get in my area.

Had to use iPad light so I didn't butt ciggie out on the cat..when does daylight savings end or get a candle asked the cat..ok she didn't

Why are rams balls as big as bulls balls?

No punchline,just wondering

Where the fuck did everyone go? I stuck by your shitty #oscars tweets

Wha?too late?

So I'm thinking one of you need to chillax the fuck out.



Who's paranoid?

@nealmayhem well I see the problem here,you need O's man. Nealo Mayohemo.

Oh I love it when Paul McDermott sings to me on #gnw

I'm fucking bored

Has that ever been said on twitter before?

Thought not

What sort of idiot has her spare key on the same keyring? What good is that when you lock your keys in the car? I'm a dickhead.

just you two ch@tting is funny with your names alone @clearlyunwell @ineedaballrub