this guy doesn't really "get" twitter https://t.co/TvEQuIx7

Pretend you run ITV with this handy programme generator @thepoke @vizcomic (by me and @debilechat) pic.twitter.com/Wi9zhk3e

i'm uneasy about the mail getting all this credit cos their scattergun approach to outrage has finally turned up someone they didn't slander

i see comedy dave is trending. have trading standards finally caught up with him?

unfortunate press release phrasing of the day http://t.co/6d5obN7T @vizcomic @thepoke

looking forward to reading this: The Daft Punk Delusion, by @daftlimmy (@caitlinmoran endorses it too) pic.twitter.com/bwspTp4eKT

the best video of two hamsters on a dangerously out of control running wheel you'll see today  http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=514881695222070&set=vb.100001007321034&type=2&theater …

#ThingsTheXXWouldNeverDo the macarena

imagine seeing staind AND puddle of mudd at the same gig

2 for the price of 1 "fuck it that'll do" parking http://t.co/oVfl2SmD @shoutsatcows

guardian's ferguson live blog still going. imagine if they outlawed live blogs and stories about google doodles. guardian would be fucked

BREAKING MUSIC NEWS: "Jai Paul's 'stolen' laptop" installed as 5/4 favourite for Best PR Campaign at the 2014 Music Week Awards

I say this as someone who could not have despised her and her politics more: show a bit of fucking decorum you vultures

if you are against modern football that much, why not just stop blathering on about it and pick a new sport instead? #amf

that @freints_show account is one of the stupidest that i follow. it is also one of my absolute favourites. which means i must be stupid

BREAKING: Peter Drury and Brighton & Hove Albion announce their engagement

PLEASE HELP SOLVE THIS AWFUL CRIME
 https://twitter.com/ConsettPolice/status/276994565020467200 …

@tom_amazing @amazingradio she and imola #F1bands

the whole concept of a "guilty pleasure" is complete fuckery anyway. if you are embarrassed about liking something you're a right divvy

if you'd like to play a nigh-on sold out gig TONIGHT and can bring all backline (headliners can't share) get in touch. please RT