RT if you're an asshole.

"Quote"

I don't get your kid tweets but it doesn't mean you shouldn't tweet them.

The people in my life are all amazing because you only live once.

There you wanna know me motherfuckers that's me.

Your fucking love tweets are worse then reading the inside cover of my High School year book.

Pseudo psychologists are the most irritating people on this planet. Their kids walk around biting their fingernails and flinging boogers.

If you weren't even cool in High School it doesn't suddenly appear for your midlife crisis.

Wanna be happy? Expect nothing and appreciate everything...you're welcome.,

Trying to tell people how to do twitter is like trying to get your dog to make you a sandwich...I said ham idiot.

I'm having John Galt's cyber baby.

@lucascomedian just tryin to help you out with that rt

Not enough people are fun and zany anymore.

Life sucks so should you ~inspirational tweet~

You can learn a lot from assholes if you pay attention.

Try starring my tweets once in a while instead of just reading them.

I know every man secretly wants Dr Ruth to give them head.

Take everything outta context cause it's easier than thinking.

@lacticstatic well in his defense he actually was drunk

@lacticstatic hahaha that's funny because I say the same thing about my poor ex.