So, a pina colada and a pina colonic are NOT the same. Would have been nice to know before I ordered.

Why is it so satisfying to star a typo before someone can delete it?

Congrats to Flava Flav for breaking down stereotypes with his new fried chicken restaurant!

I hope that's not a euphamism. RT @alcoholicman: Just drank a 320lb man under the table.

I dominated at laser tag today. Too bad it was a 6 year old's birthday party. #serioustweet

Do strip clubs have basins like the holy water in church but filled with glitter?

I had another successful day of training, and no, they didn't teach me how to Dougie.

I knew I felt something. RT @nowyoudie: Following the folks that I do I feel like I really have my finger on the pulse of America's asshole.

More to cum... RT @killerwit: THIS JUST IN: The tip.

What's the difference between @ruckaruckaali & Obama? One's a nigga that run shit and the other is the 1st black president.

I said something that rhymed. I'm a rapper now, right. I'm pretty sure that's how that works.

I am so tired of people tweeting what they had for breakfast. RT @eccentricpixie: *Jizz*

It's the only thing I like to watch with my kids. RT @justsendtulips: I'm pretty sure the writers for Spongebob are fucking high as fuck.

Ewe! Gross! RT @yuckybot: If you wear a lambskin condom while having sex with a sheep does it feel natural to them?

No it's possessive. RT @travisjcotton: $100,000 is not enought ... I'm thinking Million's (thats plural)

@jadams111 the reason rappers are always in the house is that damn house arrest bracelet.

Last day of my 9 day weekend. I don't know if I remember how to get to work anymore.

I'm not here to amuse you. I'm here to be entertained. Now make with the funny already.

I'm sorry. What did you say your name was again? http://plixi.com/p/47841495

@noor_bieber @ruckaruckaali @erikroxx I was just telling my grandma the same thing this morning...