They should name a drink a
"finger bang"

I would definitely order it

ME:
"I could use a finger bang right now! Make it a double"

Just because I'm Asian and have small boobs doesnt mean you cant humor me and try to motor boat them.

if i was a guy i would stick my dick in EVERYTHING but all I have is this stupid vagina it doesnt do anything cool except leave snail trails

not everything i think about revolves around sex.
i think about robots, zombies, cupcakes, rainbows, dinosaurs
and them having sex.

Whoever came up with expression "it's the thought that counts" was genius.

I thought about going to church but I slept in.

When life hands me lemons

I throw them at the pussies who drink mikes hard lemonade

I have small hands.

When I hold your dick it looks bigger.

Just got sodomized in the shower.

I dropped the soap next thing I know my finger was in my butt.

Finger Rule:

one is lonely

two dont mean your loose

three is a crowd

four is for whores

five... just do anal.

Thinking about getting an insurance policy for my vagina.

I'm hoping in the near future it will get wrecked..

My form of birth-control:

SWALLOWING

Where I live it's not about finding the hottest person.

It's about finding the least ugly.

is it weird i wanna lick your balls dip them in pop rocks and suck on them?

I haven't had sex in such a long time

Guys you could probably wave your dick in front of my vagina and I would have an orgasm

my humor is dry like your girlfriends vagina.

Everytime somebody complains about having a typo

I think to myself

There are kids in third world countries who would kill to have one

Fact:
Those nerdy sex freaks


Just my type

My vagina refuses to be vegetarian

people think im insensitive

im a sensitive person i cried when you couldnt get it up

ok i didnt cry but my vagina was damp with sadness

Had the strangest dream I was in church watching southpark and getting eatin out. That's a church I would go to.