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Every day, Twitter users should say a little thank you to the nameless ancient scribe who came up with the ampersand.
Went bathing suit shopping this evening because I had a surplus of self-esteem and needed to tamp that shit down.
You know, we'd all be much happier if we believed that soft rolls of belly fat were sexy.
Yes, last March was warm & this year is cold. But last year we also had a cold snap that killed the early blossoms & ruined fruit crops. So.
In charge of hors d'oeuvres for dinner party with 17 guests. Making four different kinds -- is that enough?
Anyone got a recipe for this awesomesauce I keep hearing about?
My duvet cover smells wrong.
Yes, I MAY have told a customer I'd eat a coworker if she was cooked en confit, that MAY have happened. Got a little Greenaway here today.
Dear Twitter: let's not to refer to Valentines Day as "V Day". "Happy V Day" sounds like you're wishing my vagina well.
So, what is so special about this Fifty Shades of Grey book? Did they stop publishing erotica after Story of O or something?
I'd like to find the film development team that decided The Three Stooges was a good idea and bitchslap them for 7 to 8 days straight.
Wonder Bread is making bread without preservatives. Hostess is bankrupt. Now I have no idea what we're going to eat after the apocalypse.
I wish this pie graph I'm working on was made of, or at least about, actual pie.
On the eve of Canada's 144th birthday, let us celebrate Canadian Louise Poirier, who invented the Wonderbra in 1964.
Dearest kitten, stop showing me your starfish.