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kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
I don't call myself an "Evil Genius" in my bio because dude, humility.
20
FAVS
7
RETWEETS
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
Forgot to call my mom on her birthday. Now I have to avoid her calls for the next 365 days.
7
FAVS
2
RETWEETS
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
I'm starting to think this headache focused around my left eye means that in an alternate universe I'm being skullfucked.
16
FAVS
1
RETWEET
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
Don't fret, world; I promise, when I force you to kneel before me, I won't point out your bald spot. Maybe.
8
FAVS
1
RETWEET
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
Being an adult means I can watch My Little Pony whenever the fuck I want.
16
FAVS
8
RETWEETS
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
How to Kill a Spider: Spray it with RAID, beat it to death with the can, douse it in gasoline, burn down house, and move 50 miles away.
130
FAVS
63
RETWEETS
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
Your girl gets drunk and super duper horny... then she curls up into an unfuckable position and passes out #Munsoned
15
FAVS
4
RETWEETS
kittenish cutie @kittenishcutie
@theclosetthinke hahaha we're both like "Oh shit, how do we not come off like assholes?! I know, I'll add a ';)' "
3
FAVS
1
RETWEET