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Went through twitter lists, emails and vine and still avoiding everything I need to be doing if you need an employee w/strong work ethic
Really though, there are a million baby spiders by this door and not enough for me to do anything about it I'm pretty lazy.
If you cannot handle me at my worst then you cannot handle me taking care of all of these spider babies, there are many and it's gross
Every time I see this playstation commercial I get all of these emotions because what is going on, how does greatness await?!
Just caused a ruckus with a wayward chipmunk on my porch so I guess being the next Jane Goodall is out of the question
Love me for my shit grammar <3
I drank zzzquil and I think I just tipped his sonic lady like a hundred dollars for being nice to me
I have a purse full of creamer and opened band aids who wants to fuckin party
Today in Memphis, a homeless guy offered to trade his toilet paper for some change and then we enjoyed our sonic drinks <3
How can I tell anyone is in the car unless they have an elbow hanging out holding a cigarette?
Tonight on Alaska tv it's cold and where's my whiskey
If anyone wants to argue like a two year old my ex is available
One time i was riding my bike and my foot got caught in the SpoKe and a neighbor said hey little boy, you ok?