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Tom hates me, everyone hates my Twitter, guess I should jump off a dang cliff
I want to have passive aggressive sex with my wife to every drake song tonight
Hey guess what, we never want to see pictures of people you've had sex with
Day 4 of the period hut and Janice isn't talking but everything is fine JUST FINE
I drive around to about 5 fast food places a day until someone tells me they love me
Why do people keep following me what did I do
I have got to quit tweeting like that, people I love follow me
Just wanna eat original hot wings and fingerblast you on the way to prom
This website is so fucked
Actually I'm going to the hot wing festival downtown Saturday so I'm sure I will break out in hives
I like to retweet things that I could go in public for, I pretend I haven't shut myself off from the world for a few months
Everyone in my period hut is going crazy because whoomp there it is🎶 just came on the radio
My nipples look like Funyuns
i love my children unequally and in direct correlation to the power they demonstrate while plowing my lands
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