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Sad to announce I don't have a date to the winter formal this weekend
Reminder that when you attack someone for their looks it shows that you are unintelligent
"When you close your eyes you will die mom" - my now terrifying three year old
Here's the thing, having sex feels really nice sorry if that's controversial
Babe, I can't, I'm eating the ultimate grilled cheese *clenches fists* with bacon
Insomnia, because the last 14hrs haven't covered everything you can worry about
I've been practicing my windmills all week if you'd like to battle me
My hair is so long I feel like speaking in tongues and handling snakes
What do you mean kids can't play with charcoal
Eating Cheetos for breakfast but don't worry I will facebook about yoga later to even it out
These are all of my drafts enjoy
Soooo many options and zero priorities
I love my children unequally and in direct correlation to the power they demonstrate while plowing my lands. i'm a total bage.