@peanutfreemom Trace amounts of nuts?/ Epi-pen, sweet epi-pen/ cheated death again.

@myqkaplan Wesley Snopes: A website that tells you whether urban myths such as "always bet on black" are fact or fiction.

@porters "no word yet on the color of Miss Lippy's car."

@remainchampagne went to your show Friday, loved the Thomas' Guide bit, then got lost on the way home & phone died. Coulda used one. Fuck.

@outerjohn you have to realize that the average Twitter user is VERY loyal to the Sega 32x.

@teamyasumura another Lansbury snub?????

@chrisrregan As an old man, Josey Wales went to live in the adjacent apartment on his daughter's house. They built him an outlaw unit.

"@bellhooks: I'm on twitter. Spread the word." @donglord69 changed the name just in time....

@spookycandle @donglord69 Maybe their superior health insurance coverage allowed access to better laughter medicine?

@blainecapatch "Douche or douche not, there is no Trey." -Broda

Statistically, all interracial marriages end in diverse.

@donglord69 I would love it so much if it just turned out you were a 69 year old man named Donald Glord.

@donglord69 In the meadow we can build a snowman/ and pretend that hr is WTC Building 7

@peteholmez My bro's sending my wife & I to the show tonite. He's also babysitting and making his #fundad tuna melts. Brother of the year.

@donglord69 it's where the Stove Top fucks the Stove Bottom.

@samgrittner "Educated GUESS" jeans.

@andykindler I haven't seen a referendum like this since the Byzantine Empire's boll weevil cotton gin Spruce Goose Theramin Josephus.

"Meeeeeeeeeeee!" - Libertarian kid going down a slide

Really glad that gays are allowed to serve openly in the Ninja Turtles since the repeal of "Don't Ask, Donatello"

@outerjohn @thethomason I wanted her to learn the Secret of My Mana-hood. How many times did we F? - Zero.