@kolchak's (The Night Stalker) most faved Tweets...
"Tiger ready to quit golf to save his marriage" - Pretty sure quitting other women would be even more effective. But I'm no therapist.
Hey, ancient Egyptians! I'm eating popcorn that I cooked inside a bag in under a minute. Fuck your pyramids.
Note to all Haitians underneath rubble right now: It's cool. We've got our best people working on singing inspirational songs for you.
Remember when twitter was less about stars and more about alibis? BTW, you all saw me at Burger King right about now. Not covered in blood.
Want to put all this favstar drama into perspective? Try explaining it to someone who doesn't use Twitter. View the look on their face.
Yo, H1N1. I'm really happy for you. Imma let you finish. But the Bubonic plague had one of the best outbreaks OF ALL TIME.
If we put some kind of acid into all the cans of axe body spray, we could eliminate 60% of the douche population in one swoop.
Just ran into ex girlfriend with current boyfriend. Her tastes have gone from unbelievably awesome to sketchy with a hint of meth.
This whole meme is silly. We all know that you don't say words after sex. You just sob, right guys? Guys?
There's no "I" in "team" but there is an "I" in "penis". And if you play your cards right, there could be a "penis" in "U". Ladies.
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