If voting could change anything, they'd make it illegal.

In the 60’s people took acid and shrooms to make the world weird. Now the world is getting weird, people take prozac to make it normal.

Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink, don't drive.

Always know the prettiest girls in life aren't the ones with the best looks, but the ones who have the kindest hearts & brightest minds.

Kiss me like we are meant for each other, love me like you'd never love another, then fuck me like we'd never stay together.

Depression is when you buy a hula hoop and it actually fits you.

Sweety, putting a pretty shirt over your muffin top doesn't make you a cupcake.

Told someone I felt like killing him, and he said I needed professional help, so I'm hiring a hitman

Genuine people have become endangered species.

Fact: every woman wants a man who would fuck her so hard that she'd lose her mind.

Life's all about ASS ...covering it, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get it and spanking it.

My 7 deadly sins: 1) sloth.
2-7) whatever

You can take my advice, I’m not going to use it.

I know exactly what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.

Before asking someone why they dislike you, ask yourself why you even care.

Young girls, open books, not legs & mouth. Blow minds, not guys.

I hinted to my boyfriend saying that I wanted a gift with diamonds in it.
He got me a deck of cards.

Ed Hardy, Sinful, Affliction, and TapOut makes the "find the douchebag" game really easy.

I would like car sex, or just sex, or maybe just a new car.

Twitter, please stop saying those people are similar to me, they dont have a vagina, and such amazing boobs like mine.