#TIL Cows have best friends and suffer when separated http://t.co/wVQEXMG7 via @treehugger

@paulryanvp @mittromney How? By bankrupting companies and selling the pieces off to foreign nationals? No, thanks.

'Factotum' was one of the books that convinced me it was okay to be a lazy-ass non-achiever for the rest of my life. http://is.gd/ksmSX

@mittromney LIES. Obama's cuts to Medicare were aimed at insurers, drug companies, and hospitals. NOT recipients. http://t.co/GL3f6EPA

@rollingstone In other news, Kim Kardashian is the first woman to conceive through anal sex.

I had no pillow upon which to rest my weary head, and I was saddened. Then I met a man who had no arms or legs. He became my pillow. #vss

@mittromney Letting the auto industry go bankrupt and sending jobs overseas is NOT the way to reduce unemployment. #GOP #fail

Twitter is perfect for the weirdos and loners who don't like to socialize but prefer to creep around, picking up random bits of information.

.@rumsfeldoffice No, the worst mistake was invading Iraq. You fucked up, dude. #warcrimes

@jamilsmith @motherjones Questions about racism? Just dial 9-9-9.

@sportscenter Humble much? Joe Montana and Michael Jordan are laughing at you.

"A time for reflection," my ass. We shall reap what we have sown. Time to beat yourselves out of idiotic stupors and drooling complacency.

Do you know what they call the Hunger Games in Paris? http://t.co/yBiSApPq #reddit @amypma

Apple to include fortune cookiess with each new iPad shipment. Hipster Fanboy squeals with glee when he reads his: "SLAVE LABOR. HELP US."

Echo & The Bunnymen now trending on Twitter. Awesome. #SB46

All these movies sound very interesting. I'll be sure to look for them on @netflix in a few years. #Oscars

Little is known about the Turd-Hurlers of Numenor except that they are not mentioned at all in Tolkien's Silmarillion. #vss

Something huge just crashed into Jupiter. #astonomy http://t.co/Hd2jfIoC

@paulryanvp @mittromney "The moon will miss its first son of earth"?? Who's writing your tweets? Embarrassing.

SF bicyclist hits and kills a 71-year-old pedestrian. Dedicates a blog post to his HELMET. Hang that fucker.