i'm eating lunch at my desk and am literally a woman laughing alone with salad.

i don't have the energy for amazon. could barely complete a full eye roll just now.

#subtweet = those away messages that you put up when you weren't really away

@irisblasi sorry, i'm running late.

moratorium on white text quotes on authors' portraits, please.

@mollitudo i'd recognize that curtain anywhere.

have you ever flirted on twitter as your company logo? because i think that's what i'm doing but need confirmation.

showered to sweating in 3.5 seconds (new personal best!)

@knguyen looks like we have the same darkest timeline.

#beautiful on repeat, right?

i was shoving the THESE DAYS box into my recycle bin when i found @jackcheng's stamped link to a short story on the inside. it's wonderful.

listening to old episodes of @thisamerlife while baking blueberry muffins. hellooooo sunday.

@knguyen hey now, someone cares.

not me, but definitely someone.

50% of my day is spent in the office, 25% is spent in my bed, and 14.5% of it is spent commuting between the two.

fuck sleep, apparently.

a stranger just bought me an empanada.

i need to do some heavy unfollowing.

i hope i never have to ask the internet for money.

happy anniversary to my cold! one week and still going strong; love you babe!

everything is due tomorrow.