• G'Day!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your likes and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you like, retweet, or follow someone.
Okay, you have been unsubscribed.
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    10-year-old me: When am I ever going to use long division in real life?
    34-year-old-me: (opening daughter's backpack) You son of a bitch.

    • 295
    • LIKES
    allisondsmith27THE_natedoggStefanNotStevenfredizhereNotoliviasteelaKhalifa101clean_not_soberomgitsjfizzy
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    THE_natedoggmelanieconerlyNigerianNytmareSadieHorakMolotovJohnnyLearyMslusciniolusschafranek
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Ice cream employee: I didn't know you had kids! You always come in by yourself.
    Kids: WHAT?! MOM!

    It's like she didn't want a tip.

    • 128
    • LIKES
    isomorphismsBwanaChriscriticvoicekatvoogterinwhiteheadeeeilumompsychologistBananasMcNana
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    mompsychologistAndresHarwiczScott_A_GilmoreTemeculaAmyvikkaronijunejuly12Mr_KapowskiSaraMansford
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Husband: I need your credit card to buy something off Amazon.
    Me: I have it memorized, ready?
    Husband: WHAT?!
    Me: What.

    • 117
    • LIKES
    NurseTiffm78CassieWood11gabeserraisomorphismsbajaj_sid_sarah_nelson_TheBeerGuy73graceful_asfuck
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    gabeserragraceful_asfuckQuiteinsanerjunejuly12BrittTerrebonnemeg_eisenbergerMr_KapowskiSaveItForFest
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Just got carded for buying rubber cement. Hey kids - in my day, we drank alcohol.

    • 106
    • LIKES
    Darkest_SinNotoliviasteelQuiteinsanersliver3_88junejuly12zorgodSwanieChickenBoobsMcCool
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    Quiteinsanerjunejuly12Mr_KapowskispencrorrSaraMansfordFixin2beDixonedUgly_duckling00Matt_RFletcher
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    My throat hurts. This can't happen.
    If I get sick, the house collapses, and my family wanders the streets in search of shelter and food.

    • 96
    • LIKES
    FLGOVSCOTTFAILSNotoliviasteelQuiteinsanerStaceAreyjunejuly12thefosterer_ElvishPresley_Mr_Kapowski
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    Quiteinsanerjunejuly12Mr_Kapowskispunk72BareChestySaraMansfordannemckean73sabsandsoph
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Dropped birth control pill. Dog ate it.

    Have fun humping your stuffed animal.

    • 88
    • LIKES
    BwanaChrisMr_KapowskiGangBangladeshi__FalconFast_2012girl_a_whirlCorkyKneivelLizbethAguenintendoloz
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiFalconFast_2012girl_a_whirlgodthewomanRegularFredRoisinElizabethvonTraphausHousewifeOfHell
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    If I told my husband how much I paid for shampoo, he would stop using my shampoo. But then I would be admitting how much I paid for shampoo.

    • 68
    • LIKES
    BwanaChrisTangledKittensaulcruz_jrNotoliviasteeljunejuly12Mr_Kapowskispencrorrbdzilka
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    junejuly12SaraMansfordFixin2beDixonedkcmoore51TheCaesarLifengeerajnrBkGeo718AmishPornStar1
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Liquor store employee: can I see your ID?
    Me: YESSSSSS
    Liquor store employee: you didn't sign the back of your credit card.
    Me: Oh.

    • 60
    • LIKES
    HockeyWife44Foward44CassieWood11grownbygertgraceful_asfuckBwanaChrisCaptstabbyfaceNotoliviasteel
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    HockeyWife44steffiepinggraceful_asfuckCaptstabbyfacejunejuly12thisgirlallieMatthewAhnerMr_Kapowski
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Does anyone else run on your tippy toes if you're barefoot? Does anyone else say tippy toes?

    • 49
    • LIKES
    SeveGold1katvoogtNotoliviasteeljunejuly12cerveza_y_tacosSean_Burgundy_leafmealonefamT_Bonezzz_
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    junejuly12cerveza_y_tacosSean_Burgundy_T_Bonezzz_TankCesarEllLizBethkcmoore51AudreyPorne
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    "That looks absolutely miserable. It would suck to do that everyday." --my husband, watching me put on skinny jeans.

    • 50
    • LIKES
    RiotMonsterallyalisonxDons78sbBwanaChrisNotoliviasteelcalluptomejunejuly12Mr_Kapowski
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    bharat2004_samini_BwanaChrisjunejuly12GinGurrlSaraMansfordrandomnloveitSardonicTart
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Me: Siri, what was Royals score last night?
    Siri: The Royals got smashed by the Mariners 6 to nothing.
    Me: You trash talkin', Siri?

    • 44
    • LIKES
    ashtonraexoT_Bonezzz_locherreRubyMcraetoastozkcmoore517IronJoeHousewifeOfHell
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_kcmoore51xformedUchiha_ChukaopelikacreekCulturedRuffianTheTerribleHook
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    "The silent ones smell the best." - my 6-year-old daughter.

    This is why I sit in my closet and talk to you fine people.

    • 37
    • LIKES
    eyeamImranleafmealonefamTheHunterMoonCherylmarie59kelkelloT_Bonezzz_MotherOfKanermecheeya
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    eyeamImranleafmealonefamT_Bonezzz_rmecheeyakcmoore51ElizabethPindelTheBoydPOneFunnyMummy
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    If we're going to discuss public bathrooms, my vote is to ban automatic flushing toilets for scaring the crap out of my kids.

    • 37
    • LIKES
    louai70NotoliviasteelTangledKittennascarsnanakarynplummfood_shoes_lifejunejuly12sherrihartman11
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    nascarsnanajunejuly12T_Bonezzz_SardonicTartkcmoore51CCHCbloglivelistrepeatalsweetgum
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Puts hand down garbage disposal, searching for the clog. Prays a ghost doesn't flip the switch.

    • 28
    • LIKES
    SmartassChef_ElvishPresley_Mr_KapowskiJennzpageAndromeda2p5T_Bonezzz_partlyfunnylivelistrepeat
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    _ElvishPresley_Mr_KapowskiT_Bonezzz_livelistrepeatLnL245MotherOfKanekcmoore512tickytacky
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    10: Mom, a boy teased me at school for having hairy legs.
    Me: He's not worth shaving for.
    10: Huh?
    Me: Just remember that.

    • 30
    • LIKES
    yolanda_cobbKaraLewisEduPaigeKellermanlocherresophienuuttallAyMocMildThaangBipolarLife21
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    PaigeKellermanlauryntannerAliHashem0kcmoore51T_Bonezzz_Purple
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Cut a bunch of jalapeños. Rubbed my eye. And then I saw Satan himself on this fine Sunday morning.

    • 28
    • LIKES
    BwanaChrisT_Bonezzz_LonelyJackalopeparrishickslivelistrepeatMister_BurnhamLnL245msbtx
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_livelistrepeatchallblues25CaptYogaPantskcmoore51orthopeerTheBoydPd_nadler
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    It would be great if flight attendants could wipe the drool off your face while sleeping on a plane.

    • 25
    • LIKES
    grownbygertgraceful_asfuckT_Bonezzz_locherrepartlyfunnyLnL245AusEffJennawhatnow
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    graceful_asfuckT_Bonezzz_Jennawhatnowkcmoore51TheBoydPOneFunnyMummywife_housyninjamoose101
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    7: A KU player talked to our class.
    Me: What'd you say?
    7: Nothing.
    Me: What'd you do?
    7: (sighs) I gave him a thumbs down in the audience.

    • 28
    • LIKES
    T_Bonezzz_locherrekatieksuK8wilmsdiahonia94a_mill06madxoxkastLilulienka
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_GradertShmadertmadxoxkastallisonivers02ItsGwenoBaby
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    7 minutes and 34 seconds - first fight into summer. I timed their asses. pic.twitter.com/KwiWKVYSJr

    • 32
    • LIKES
    chaz6614wildkatphotoJManzojrMisBeehaverNateKluttzRealJEllisCurtMyersmrschupa
  • ksujulie
      Julie Burton @ksujulie

    Parent rookie move: I smelled the finger.

    • 22
    • LIKES
    bestastinpickletomrrllcT_Bonezzz_Mister_Burnhammsbtxkcmoore51jonvon77emceej
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_livelistrepeatkcmoore51emceej2tickytackymriamyTankCesarTheBoydP
@ksujulie

@ksujulie Pro

Mom - Wife - Writer - Whiskey drinker - KSU lover - Bacon hater, please don't drop me as a friend.

Gift 128x128

Like @ksujulie’s tweets? Extend their Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Extend their Pro!