Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I've unfollowed most of the famous people I formerly followed because you edgy, unknown bastards are a lot more entertaining.
Once in awhile I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner over the driveway just to ensure that the neighbors never talk to me.
Why does a woman look hot wearing only a t-shirt and the same look on a guy is horrifying?
"I Don't Really CareBears" 1) Sweatpants Bear 2) B.O. Bear 3) Go Fuck Yourself Bear 4) Drunk by Noon Bear
Fuck you. Fuck you all the way to hell.
I don't always drink beer but when I do I like to have 17 or 18 of them.
My cat sits staring into space with a look of regal, introspective concentration that defies the fact that he's simply retarded.
Impress your waiter during your next upscale dining experience by pronouncing the "w" in "swordfish".
Just bought the bonus features on Favstar. I feel like I should take a shower.
The Pander Bear pretty much just tells all the other bears what they want to hear.
Got up early and checked my traps. Three Smurfs and a Keebler elf. Not a bad haul for the day.
Just bought the Rosetta Stone Bob Dylan edition.
Lieutenant Crunch: cheaper but not nearly as delicious.
New restaurant idea: "Pasta La Vista". You get your spaghetti and I tell you to hurry up and get the fuck out.
Time for bed. You mopes stay up as long as you want but I have to get up & fight crime tomorrow and keep the world safe for cunnilingus.
I'd like to thank each and every one of you for enriching my mundane existence with an unending stream of tomfoolery and douchebaggery.
One of the not so great things about having cancer last year is the every 3 months bloodwork. Passed again today. Fuck you cancer.
You're never as wonderful or as awful as you think you are. You're somewhere in between like everyone else.
"Wow man, I just poured some olives in the fucking bologna mix...I am SO baked" - guy who invented olive loaf.
Just saw a guy stretching to take a lunch walk. Hope his panties don't bunch up.
I dream of being assassinated by revolutionaries but will probably die shopping for tile grout.