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Radio 4 announcer a couple of minutes ago- 'Coming up, Albert Speer, or prisoner number 5 as he was known in Spandau Ballet...Erm, prison'
#ModernizedClassics Cidre with Rosie
Feign fain? Never. That would be rued. #Artwiculate
Mendacious harp = lyre #artwiculate
Caesura Margery Daw, Johnny can't find a new master, He got fired for having too many breaks, Now his CV's a total disaster #Artwiculate
#CelebFilms Once Upon a Time in Mae West
The success of Christian Dior's 'Poison' has prompted arch rival Estée Lauder to bring out her new fragrance 'Theriac' #artwiculate
Four calling birds...three French hens.. two girls... and one cup! #dysfunctionalcarols
The mendacious feminist said she'd burned her bra but it was her pants that were on fire #artwiculate
The Fonz is trending. I daren't click to see why in case pictures of his arse have been leaked too...
#PornoRemakes Pan's Labia rinse
Since my girlfriend started working late with Dave at the margarine factory, I can't believe it's not subterfuge #artwiculate
They've been vibrating the Chilean mountain for months with their big machine and it's finally ready to start ejaculating miners..