@nyneofuturists A typewriter is put into a display case. Then everyone gets laid off. The building is turned into condos.

@susanorlean Are you kidding? Big GIrl, Bernie Potato & Baby Turtle are officially in your fan club!

My outfit today is sort of Partridge Family meets Leather Tuscadero. #stylin

@nyneofuturists That's always been my take on the matter.

@nyneofuturists A: What are you doing with that creamy spiral of chocolate cake? B: It's a Yodel. I'm unrolling it. That's how I eat them.

@nyneofuturists A: I know when to hold 'em. B: I know when to fold 'em. A: I know when to walk away. B: I know when to...(A shoots B). BANG!

@nyneofuturists Her: They say this one's a real killer! Him: I doubt it. I won't be scared at AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

@nyneofuturists Pilot: I'm not happy. I feel I have no purpose. I don't really make a difference. Passenger: To me you do. Until we land.

Another amazing night at DCW! Thrilled to hear the powerful new work from Callie Kimball (with Amy E. Witting and...  http://fb.me/1mNc8dVQQ 

So Mitt is for gender equality in OTHER countries.

@nyneofuturists A: (faints). B: (faints). C: (faints). D: Those wool uniforms and busbies might not be the best idea for July 4th Parade.

@nyneofuturists C: I'm afraid I can't do that, Hal. M: NOT FUNNY! C: Is so! M: I'm taking you for a humor tuneup. C: You prefer slapstick?

@nyneofuturists (Dark) M: Can't breathe. Going bad. What will happen to me? (Light, door opens). A: Wanna cook these mushrooms? No? (Dark)

@nyneofuturists @newyorker A: This towelette is not moist! B: I am so sorry, sir. Here, let me... (A hands B the towelette; B spits in it).

@nyneofuturists A stumbles onstage, dissheveled. B rushes to her, sniffs loudly. B: Thank God you're all right. They embrace. B sneezes.

@nyneofuturists A: What's in the colander in the sink? B: Toss 'em in...Let me...oops. Sorry. C: Tonight's entree is mushrooms with Dawn.

Meet the guest editor of BLE '12 (these are just SOME of her accomplishments!): Sinclair Sexsmith... http://t.co/79b4cDd1

Last night's dream: I was discussing The Runaways over cocktails with Rachel Maddow.

@nyneofuturists A: I am so thirsty. B: I know. It's really hot. Would you like something to drink? A: I could really use a Sprite. B: Yeah.

@nyneofuturists A: Where's my shoe? B: Don't ask me! C: Here it is. A: That's one...where's the other? D: Why? You only have one leg.