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@neilhamburger English teens convicted of criminal damage after spraying burkas on scantily-clad models in Axe/Lynx ad http://t.co/toXng2I
@wilsomat stop following young college girls (on Twitter after 2pm and on the street after 2am)
Whenever I open a gate in the rain I hate myself for being unable to not think about Dennis Nedry. #20YearsOfJurassicParkMonth
@chrisallenmax you don't need a tv again, ever. why surf through all that garbage? the internet won. tv shows are on it too.
"It's okay. I've seen bigger than that," attendant asking me to push my bag farther in overhead bin.
Serious ethnographic question: Do any non-white people like House of Pain's 'Jump Around'?
I love you, nephew. I haven't seen you in a year. Your being alive brings me great joy. Just please shut the fuck up about your video games.
@chrisallenmax: watch @adamloewer11 invite himself to a party and then decline when he hears it's #BYOB #LOL http://t.co/YnkoUNHH
@chrisallenmax where do you find all these typo-ridden, ironic fools in the 400-4k follower range?
Not sure why @chrisallenmax keeps suggesting me for #FF when I've been promoting him for #UW on Wednesdays.
I'm always open to suggestions. The more paragraphs the better. pic.twitter.com/ra9K4Tu4Yu
I was just stuck behind a cop at a green light. He moved when it went yellow. This means texting and driving is okay, guys!
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