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When I grow up I wanna be a sexually frustrated wife who writes love triangle fiction that ends up being fall blockbusters for tweens.
Tomorrow, I turn 25. The age my dad was when he married my mom. The age my mom was when she birthed me from her uterus.
Good, old fashioned Apple Store clap out. Tomorrow. 7:45pm. Hang out at Dog House afterward. Be there or be… well, you know.
Tinder pickup line: Did you hear about the Fresno State student that fucked a sheep?
This morning I drove behind someone I assume is a recent atheist. The bumper had the outline of a Jesus fish, but the fish itself was gone.
I know I made the "Part 3 Part 1" joke already regarding The Hobbit, but I really can't help myself.
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