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I hate the way the mall smells like empty pockets.
I play the lottery not for the money but so I can spend more time with my best friend, my wife.
There's always time for toast.
I imagine wearing yoga pants is a lot like having your balls cupped all day.
Is that a camel toe curtain?
These so called extra long scarves shall now be known as camel toe curtains.
If I'm going to try on yoga pants, I think it will be at Wal-Mart. That way I'm less likely to stick out.
I wish redheads would stop giving all their secrets away. Soon everyone is going to want one.
Oh my god. I almost installed Candy Crush.
Better to bear the shame than to bear the pain. Words to live by after having brown beans and toast for lunch.
She must have worn my hoodie yesterday, because today I feel like I'm wrapped around her finger.
The downside to having a gorgeous wife, is all my daydreaming makes me cum faster than a racehorse. So I never party with a loaded gun.
Don't squish my bag, it makes it taste bitter.
Oh yea, the same goes for my tea.
A proud Canadian who enjoys a redheaded eager beaver, my wife @fannypatch