Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Squirting with your legs open must be like sneezing with your eyes open.
Is thinking about your ex wife's plane crashing the same as wishing it would?
My ex wife's birthstone is lava.
I may be raw from last nights sexcapades, but I'm ready to go another 4 hrs...
It's Friday and I'm getting so high tonight I'm going to forget my name, but I'll never forget hers.
I must have the only dealer that has a Christmas sale.
I like to tell my dealer his stuff is shit so he gives me samples of his new stuff.
My pleasure is your pleasure.
I like to fantasy shop. Browsing the aisles and filling a cart with obscure items. Then abandoning it some where in the store.
The only time we'll be apart today is when I have to poop and when she has to poop. In the end that will bring us closer together.
Who the fuck buys dirty panties? Don't you generate enough dirty laundry. You have to buy someone else's to have a full load?
Why can't I win the lottery in my sexual prime.
Turn your hat around, you're an adult not a fat ass twelve year old.
Anal sex, because you just want to know.
I wonder if my ex has had an affair on her husband yet?
I went to work with a banana in a gun holster just to let everyone know I'm gunning for good health.
Raw and sensitive would be the best way to describe my kid less weekend.
At my age it is getting harder to decipher between farting and moaning.
I dip my rainbow chocolate chip cookies in NeoCitran.
Do vegans swallow?