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I give a titty fuck!
Today is one of those days I want to bend you over , slap your ass and slip it in so I can hear that first gasp of excitement.
I now know why they call it wheelchair weed. I'm so stoned over from last night I could use a wheelchair today.
Big words from a man whose dick doesn't touch his underwear.
The only thing that can make Mondays bearable, is a Sunday night blow job! Zippity doo dah zippity day!
The random thoughts are coming back fast and furious.
Why do they call it First Choice hair cutters? It's really not my first choice. I'm poor and the best choice is three times the price.
I have arthritis in my big toe from the years of repeated pushing off the footboard.
It's been so long since I've been back to my hometown. All I can remember now is if your girlfriend had all her teeth she was a super model.
Sunday morning reminder tweet to self. You're stonedover and your cock will be raw for a few days.
The sex god is on my side today. My 10 has been invited to a sleepover. It's wild and adventurous sex night. This old man better take a nap.
Oh you have a wedgie? Good, then my cock sliding between your butt cheeks won't seem to foreign later.
Let the spelling mistakes begin.
Time to get high.
I don't like fast cars and fast women. I like the scenery and I enjoy the ride.
Just checking in. I'm having a pee at the mall.