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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    When someone is telling me a story, I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my story that’s not only better, but involves me.

    • 446
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    drunktweets81iammynicheMaybe_Tumorrowold_n_highContwixtclean_not_soberJustFredaHunnerGoMeow
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    old_n_highContwixtBeer4AGoodTimejuliaploumCallMeWagabacouldafooledme__dudoitJunk__Thoughts
    pizzajaynowpotatokingpin__AlphaBelle________
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Never underestimate the power of stupid people who feel confident.

    • 352
    • FAVS
    UhhmIDontKnowthe_rock_chicrage_chaosgreen_eyed_dollhookshaOneyeBogeymrfkh4Woz8005
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    Kwame__UhhmIDontKnowViolent2Dope304gymratlindoOneyeBogeyrankingTweetsAde1965Contwixt
    Contwixtiam_timgingerfacedVoilaTyle________
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    I have CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

    • 338
    • FAVS
    KanGuru25egw_o_twidioswabash_prettyfusedude__lana_manilowBillhenry16StephenBCramer__RandomAntics
    • 190
    • RETWEETS
    egw_o_twidiostheotherlsfusedude__fltxnBillhenry16RyanSaysWords__jchele2013LackOfShame
    MessJenkins
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    That thin line between "I should tweet that" or "I should talk to my therapist about that"...

    • 338
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    Tmoney68fusedude__Billhenry16bees_wingzvcxxvidirtydishtowelsStineOidiosity
    • 187
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__Billhenry16injariaidiositymikeinatx__TheTalkingPipe__ARTPOPMarijuanaIQuitTwittah__
    GroperClevelandGetbentLA
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine a day" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.

    • 261
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    JustFredaQuirkyPickledavrus28876Beer4AGoodTimeTmoney68fusedude__TheBeerGuy73Billhenry16
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    Beer4AGoodTimefusedude__NigeriangodUnJamalBillhenry16benitttoFavstar250DaniellaKhoei
    RummyLauded
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    I drink vodka because I don't like to keep things bottled up.

    • 256
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68baggzkcfusedude__Billhenry16concretesledge_GetongaStephenBCramer__Midlifecrisis18
    • 99
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__Getongabenittto8Favstar250ShelbyJ_13_LittleMsBossy___NueroXTCGG246810
    colewagonerPaxochka
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Twitter is the adult way of having imaginary friends.

    • 199
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    silent_musingsgreggoodman77BladesJRjrfusedude__Billhenry16ed_doranedgeof8Tampagirl613
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    BladesJRjrfusedude__Billhenry16larryelfinbizarrequotesTampaBayMommakingkumpzduncanbuldanz
    StephenBCramer__
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    I need to clean this living room. By clean, I mean drink wine & spray febreeze.

    • 209
    • FAVS
    jlynnkitty22ha_MARTI_ajustmegirlRRmrkernals2happyrightDrivelodeonTmoney68fusedude__
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    justmegirlRRDrivelodeoncambusladHShep101616fusedude__LaniBenoMikeCullen73ChrisfromHBSA
    Billhenry16
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    A whore is just a woman who has the morals and values of a man.

    • 162
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68kevinbryfusedude__samafolabibobby_stantonBillhenry16StephenBCramer__johnbiehl
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    kevinbryfusedude__whitefaced_aridniJimmylitanUnJamallana_manilowBillhenry16
    numbertzeOriginalNixster
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    "Eye of the Tiger" is playing and it's so motivating. I totally want to punch someone in the face right now.

    • 135
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68kevinbryfusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__johnbiehlCpt_KarnageCoastiefish
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    kevinbryfusedude__Billhenry16Peace18NDRSKGAlyssa_Jolie__AmandaVocaturolovemydogduck
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Everything happens for a reason but sometimes that reason is that you're a moron.

    • 135
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68deceased2045alycamfusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__amzmomrocksCliffDuffy
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    HShep101616fusedude___LittleMsBossy___catcervenyAndyAsAdjectiveAlyssa_Jolie__BrynLynn37________claularrau
    FingDuck
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Fine. Whatever. Nothing. -Things women say when they really mean "fuck you, you ignorant asshole, I hate & I want to stab you"

    • 117
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    Tmoney68deceased2045HShep101616fusedude__StephenBCramer__SamKellyLove__Coastiefish72RICH72
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    HShep101616fusedude__SamKellyLove__Alyssa_Jolie__GeetikaGrangerAndswhatlovemydogduckWasARebel________
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Someone at this party said twitter is a waste of time & is full of sociopaths...now I'm trying to figure out where to hide her body.

    • 115
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68beersudsfusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer___TayTayJustineTurboJellyBeanSteelFontana
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__TinaWheeler44MafvtapatioSandraTolRivlovemydogduckfavstar1000favsTXFloormanWhite__Bait__
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Just popped into Costco to pick up some detergent and now I'm out $800 and could open an Asian restaurant.

    • 110
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    Tmoney68fusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__Dr0p0fGoldenSun___TayTayJustineSteelFontanaNoLuckWanted
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    FulmerRobertfusedude__Billhenry16RangeelaDesiGreg444QuintanaGQatHU__favstar1000favsbollywoodfanmia
    GetbentLAFunny2BelvAndBourb
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    HIM: What do you need? ME: A Vodka Tonic w Lime. HIM: I meant out of life. ME: So did I :)

    • 130
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    Tmoney68deceased2045stacywawa1fusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__Cpt_Karnage_TayTayJustine
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__lovemydogduckfavstar1000favsFavstar500Favs__cherievannTraceOverlookTheLaughBankUglyHalfSister
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    If you consider going on a beer "run" as your form of exercise, we are going to be very, very close friends.

    • 112
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    Tmoney68fusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__johnbiehlDr0p0fGoldenSun__Coastiefishlifeitecture
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__Billhenry16Peace18Alyssa_Jolie__favstar1000favsJanWuzHere________lovemydogduckWasARebel________
    chowdersoop
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    There's no use in crying over spilled milk! Spilled vodka, however, totally normal to sob inconsolably.

    • 107
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    Tmoney68LivingEverywayfusedude__StephenBCramer__alex_apatheticCoastiefish77Kevin11TurboJellyBean
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__Peace18Alyssa_Jolie__hsm2sonsfavstar1000favsthebitchfileslovemydogduckobi_ian_kenobi
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Just because you have 400 friends on facebook doesn't mean people like you now, they just feel guilty for being mean to you in high school.

    • 104
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    Tmoney68fusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__SteveOHellNoRobbi123CoastiefishJesterpopo________
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__SteveOHellNofavstar1000favsJesterpopo________Alyssa_Jolie__thebitchfilesAmandaVocaturolovemydogduck
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    How come my iphone headphones always look like they had wild sex when I take them out of my purse?

    • 97
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    Tmoney68fusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__Robbi123Coastiefish_TayTayJustineTurboJellyBean
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__Alyssa_Jolie__litfirebirdlovemydogduckMyLoveGoesDown____nowarrantyMegannxo3cammymonaghan
  • LABeachmom
      April Wheeler @LABeachmom

    Everything in my house is either travel size or costco size. I'm going to get drunk and pretend I'm Alice in Wonderland.

    • 70
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    Tmoney68deceased2045APANCHALYPSENOWfusedude__Billhenry16StephenBCramer__freebrdstairwayRobbi123
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__StymieBrewerCpt_KarnageThatDangWolfLadyIzaNatheisterinandbennyPytah1JuliusSkeeezer
@LABeachmom

@LABeachmom
Pro

Wife & Mom...I live in LA, I do not carry my dog in my Prada bag, but I do wear sunglasses inside. I drink Belvedere Vodka. I dream every night. I hate crocs.

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